


Dying to Live

by GottaHaveAName



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Not Really Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-06-17 06:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15455628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GottaHaveAName/pseuds/GottaHaveAName
Summary: Not all families are by blood or legalities.  Some form through sorrow, trial, friendship, and love.  This is the story of Jean-Luc being reported dead following the destruction of the Stargazer and how Beverly and Wesley deal with his death and eventual homecoming.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Special thanks to AnnaOnTheMoon who contributed in many ways, from getting me unstuck and out of corners, proof-reading, and lots of little sections that she went "ooh! I have an idea!" and I liked it, so I shamelessly borrowed her writing, tweaked it a bit, and it'll be dotted all through the story.

######

Jean-Luc Picard was the last person on the Bridge.  He’d ordered his staff to escape pods nearly three minutes before, when he’d issued a command for all hands to abandon ship.  He stayed long enough to watch as the ship that had fired upon them descended into the atmosphere and now worried he’d stayed too long.  At least he was certain that their unknown enemy could not pose a threat to the jettisoning pods.

“All hands, abandon ship!  All hands, abandon ship!”  He gave the order again, in case it hadn’t broadcast before. 

Jean-Luc was relieved to find empty corridors as he ran.  The captain hoped anyone still alive was safely away.  He ran to where his pod should have been, and cursed. The bay containing his pod had been damaged by one of the blasts. He ran from bay to bay in search of a pod.

He wondered how his death would be reported to Beverly and Wesley.  He wasn’t even sure if there was an escape pod left for him.  If there wasn’t, he’d put himself out an airlock rather than slowly die of asphyxiation.  Then he cursed himself for considering that plan. He couldn’t leave them by his own hand.  It was bad enough that he would die.  If his body remained on the craft, at least they would have that.  

He rounded the corner and entered the final bay.

Jean-Luc stumbled though the smoke and fire filled corridor to last remaining escape pod and climbed in. He barely had time to jettison himself before he watched his ship slip into the atmosphere of the planet they were orbiting. He studied his controls and cursed. The fire must have spread into the escape hatch. He had no navigation system and no COMM unit. He was, effectively, dead in space. His pod tumbled away from the ship, away from the planet, and away from the pre-programmed rendezvous point.

Gilaad Ben Zoma, First Officer of the Stargazer, was commanding the troops from his shuttle. His computer’s connection to the ship sent one last update - one pod still on board, one lifesign still on board – before the link was severed. His Captain had gone down with his ship.

His sacrifice would be honored by his crew and their families. 

“Personal Log, Gilaad Ben Zoma, First officer of the Stargazer, now acting Captain.”  He cleared his throat.  “Captain Picard’s escape pod has not deployed. At the last update from the ship, his lifesign was still aboard.  His sacrifice has enabled our survival. May his honor and courage be remembered forever. End Log”

#####

“Wesley, come on!”  Beverly called up the stairs.  “It’s Uncle Jean’s birthday, remember?”

“I needed to get his card, Mommy!”

“His card?”

“Yeah.”  Wesley came thumping down the stairs.  “I made him a card in school!  I want to show it to him.”

“You didn’t tell me that.”

“You always buy him one, but he says he likes my pictures.  See?”  He held up a folded piece of paper with a picture of a space ship with four nacelles flying over a house. 

“He’s going to like that.”  Beverly smiled.  “Is that our house?”

“Yes, and it’s the Stargazer bringing him home!”

“It may be a while before he gets here.”  Beverly ran her hand over Wesley’s hair.  “We’re going to meet him on leave in a few months, but I don’t know if he’ll be here before that.  He got sent out on a mission, remember?”

“I know, Mommy.”  Wesley’s eyes filled with tears. “I miss him.”

“I miss him too, Baby.”  Beverly wiped her eyes carefully and checked to be sure she didn’t have any smeared makeup.  “Ready to call him?”

“Yes!”  Wesley smiled.  “Can we sing him Happy Birthday?”

“Of course!”

“Do you think he had cake?”

“Probably, but I think you need to ask him, just to be sure.”  Wesley nodded.  Cake was important, and he could make sure his uncle got some. 

The pair sat in front of their small subspace communications console.

“Computer, open communication from Dr. Beverly Crusher to Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Stargazer.” 

The screen stayed blank until a message played that communication could not be initiated. Beverly felt a chill run down her spine.

######

Beverly was outside with Wesley, watching him as he rode the bicycle Jean-Luc had taught him to ride the year before.  She had grown up hanging out her laundry on Caldos, and sometimes found it comforting to wash and dry their clothing in a traditional manner.  She’d woken that morning with a feeling of unease, and was hoping to alleviate the unnerving specter that followed her.

“Look at me, Mommy!”  Wesley giggled as he ducked and rode under a sheet, dragging it with him as he passed. 

“Don’t make me do this all over again, young man!”  She smiled at him, letting him know she enjoyed the trick once, but wouldn’t appreciate a second. 

“Ok!”  He took off and rode in circles around their yard, shouting bad knock-knock jokes he’d learned in school.  She rolled her eyes at another rendition of the old “orange you glad I didn’t say banana?” routine.

Beverly hung another shirt, and looked down the block.  Her heart froze for a moment as she recognized the duty uniforms of the two Starfleet officers headed her way.  She hoped they’d pass her, as coming up her walk would mean disaster once again.

She felt her throat close as they turned up her walk and headed across the yard to her.

“Doctor Crusher?”

“Yes.”  Her voice shook. The senior officer held out the standard packet of legal documents that all Starfleet members were required to fill out and periodically update. Her name written in the “beneficiary” box, penned in Jean-Luc’s careful, blocky script.

“We regret to inform you…”  She heard nothing else over the blood rushing in her ears. 

######

“Mommy?”  Wesley crawled onto the couch to sit next to his mother.  Hours before, she’d held him close and tearfully told him that Uncle Jean was dead.  He’d died in space, just like Jack. 

“What, baby?”

“Will Uncle Jean really be gone forever, like Daddy?”

“Yes.”  Beverly pulled Wesley onto her lap and rocked him slowly.  “I’m sorry he can’t come home.”  She kissed the side of his head.  “He loved you, you know.”

“I know.”  Wesley cried and wrapped his arms around his mom.  “He told me.”

“He did, did he?”  He nodded, and adjusted his position so he was pressed tightly to her, his little arms and legs wrapped tightly around her.  They fell asleep holding one another.

#######

Jean-Luc pulled the control panel away from the communications center and swore.  The wires had completely melted.  The replicator was programmed only for food, and he didn’t have the specifications required to replicate circuitry.

He sat back and thought of his fortune, that at least the pod he was in enabled his survival…wherever it was he would survive, or how long he’d last without medical care for the nagging cough he’d woken with during the past two nights.  Or was it days?  He looked at the chronometer and grimaced.  It had stopped working, probably damaged by the same fire that had destroyed the COMM and navigational system. 

Picard tried to figure out what the date was, finally giving up and deciding that he’d call it “Friday”, and use it as a frame of reference for keeping track of how long he’d been in the pod.  Sleeping would begin a new “day”, and if he marked two new days during a 24 hour period, he’d call it good and not question. 

Friday.  His hands trembled as he rubbed his mouth.  He should be calling his family right now.

He loved Fridays because he always called Beverly and Wesley on Friday and he and Wesley would play a game together while Beverly bustled around the kitchen making dinner from scratch instead of replicated. Wesley would pick the game and arrange the board so Jean-Luc could see it on his monitor.

_“I have my dice, Wesley.”  Jean-Luc winked at Beverly when she looked over at the table.  “I thought we were playing Farkle?”_

_“We played Farkle last week!”  Wesley laughed at his silly Uncle.  “We’re going to play Mousetrap!”  Wesley excitedly set up the moderately complicated board and then looked at his uncle seriously.  “Next time, you do this.”_

_“If you don’t want to set it up, then don’t play it when I’m not home.”  Jean-Luc rolled his eyes and used a silly voice to take any sting out of his words._

_“Duh, if I do that, I can’t play it with you, like ever.”  Beverly laughed, tapping her son lightly on the head.  “Sorry, Mommy.”  He rolled his eyes.  “I’m not suppoda to say “duh” to people.”_

Jean-Luc’s cheeks were always sore after a call home.  His Friday nights, even when deep in space and far from home, were treasures.  Jean-Luc would tease Wesley that he was cheating and Beverly’s melodious laughter would ring out over something silly he had said. Then, when their dinner was prepared, Jean-Luc would go to his replicator and replicate the same meal and he would eat his meal with them – even if it was three in the morning ship time. He missed his family.

He hoped Beverly wasn’t too worried about him and wondered what, if anything, she would have been told. Would Ben Zoma have told her that he was missing? She and Wesley were listed as his next of kin. He had done it without ceremony, and just told her one day he had designated her as his next of kin and Wesley as his ‘heir’. Beverly had cried and told him he was being silly, that he was going to live to be an old man and dangle Wesley’s children on his knee, but he had told her he wanted to provide for them nonetheless. He’d tried to tell her more information, but she had refused to listen. He sighed deeply. A pang of sorrow stabbed through his chest as he thought of Wesley waiting for a call that wasn’t going to happen. His poor boy.

Tears ran freely down his face as he sobbed.  He’d likely never see them again and he never told them how he felt.  Oh, he’d told them in passing that he loved them, but he’d never made certain that Wesley knew how precious he was. He never held Beverly all night to watch her sleep, despite wishing he’d done so.  He never told her that he’d long since given up dating because she owned his heart.  He never swept her off her feet and made love to her all night long.  He never told them… He wept brokenly over the missed opportunities he’d never have again.

######

_Wesley bit his lip as he tried to balance and pedal at the same time._

_“Relax, Wesley.”  Uncle Jean patted his back.  “I’ve still got the seat.  I’ll not let go until you’re ready.”_

_“You promise?”_

_“Of course.”  Jean-Luc smiled as he trotted next to his “nephew” while the boy focused on pedaling and balancing once more._

_“Am I doing it?”_

_“Yes, you are.”  Jean-Luc couldn’t keep the pride from his voice.  Wesley was a quick learner.  “Do you think you’re ready for me to let go?”_

_“Maybe.”  Wesley braked and looked up at the man who had stepped in when his father died.  “What if I fall?”_

_Jean-Luc knelt down and put his hand on Wes’ on the handlebar.  “It may hurt a little, but that pain is all part of learning.  We can’t ever learn without making some mistakes.”_

_Wesley nodded and bit his lip again.  “I think I’m ready to try on my own.”_

_“How about if I help you get started, and then I’ll let go once you’re balanced?”_

_“Yeah.”  Wesley grinned and threw his arms around Jean Luc’s neck.  “Thank you.”_

_“You’re welcome, my boy.”  Wesley looked sad for a moment, and Jean-Luc tapped his chin with his thumb.  “What’s with the face?”_

_“I wish I was your boy.”  Wes wiped a tear away.  “I know you’re not my daddy, but I don’t remember him.  He was never here.  But you make sure to call when you’re away, and…”  He stopped at the look on Jean-Luc’s face.  “I’m sorry.”_

_“Don’t be sorry.”  Jean-Luc hugged him lightly.  “I’ll always be here for you, Wesley, and I’ll always love you.”_

_“Even when you’re old and I’m all grown up?”_

_“Especially when I’m old and you’re all grown up!”  Jean-Luc teased back.  “Who else will take care of me, if not my brave and kind nephew?”_

_Wesley fell into giggles, nearly knocking himself over as he laughed._

_Later that day, as he rode around the yard all by himself, Jean-Luc sat on the porch with his Mom, and all was right with the world._

Wesley woke screaming for his Uncle Jean.  The man couldn’t be gone.  He’d promised.  He’d promised.  Beverly ran into his room and cuddled with him, her tears mixing with his as he cried out his anger and betrayal that the man he knew loved him was gone. 

######

Friday night, Wesley brought his box of games to the table and sat quietly, tears running down his face as Beverly prepared their meal. 

“Can we play a game?”  She picked him up and sat back down with him in her lap.

“No.”  He shook his head.  “You’re suppoda make dinner while Uncle Jean plays with me.”

“I know, Baby.”  Tears ran down her face as she pressed her cheek to the top of his head.  “I’m so sorry.” 

Beverly held her son close, wondering how to handle their friend’s death.  Wesley had had a much easier time with Jack’s death, which made sense if she let herself think on it too long.  Jean-Luc had always made time for them, even before Jack’s death.  He’d been a steady presence in their lives after, and had been the father-figure she’d wished Jack would have tried to… She stopped herself from going down that mental path.  There was no good to be found in comparing the two men or rehashing her disappointment in her husband. 

“Oh, Jean-Luc.”  Beverly watched her son sleep, desperately clutching the stuffed horse Picard had given him.  “What am I going to do?”  She wiped the tears from her cheek, not caring that she was talking out loud to someone who would never hear her.  When Jack died, life had gone on with barely a blip of change.  But this?  She felt for all the world like she’d lost her husband and fellow parent instead of a friend.  Shouldn’t she have felt this way when Jack died?

She fell asleep into unsettled dreams of missing pieces and weariness. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings abound yet explain things to Beverly in unexpected ways. A continuation of losing Jean-Luc and the sorrow loss brings.
> 
> Once again thanks to AnnaOnTheMoon for helping smooth out some rough spots and for spotting errors.
> 
> #######

Beverly stumbled to the door, her brain foggy from the sedative she’d taken the night before in order to sleep. 

“Can I help you?”  She pushed hair back from her face.

“Yes, ma’am.”  The young ensign was accustomed to seeing newly widowed individuals, yet it never became any easier.  “I have some crates that belonged to your husband.  I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“I have his crates already.”  Beverly didn’t want to think about Jack Crusher.  It wasn’t that she didn’t love him, but she was tired of feeling loss.  His loss and now Jean-Luc’s. 

“Someone already brought Jean-Luc Picard’s belongings?”  The young woman looked at her PADD in confusion.  “I’m sorry.  I have these listed as his.”

Beverly didn’t want to acknowledge Jean-Luc as her husband, because he wasn’t, but she wasn’t about to let his belongings sit in a warehouse until they lost any meaning to anyone because of miscommunication.  She fibbed to the young woman.  “Can you open one and see if perhaps there is more than the first delivery?”

“Of course, ma’am.” 

Under Beverly’s careful watch, the ensign cracked the seal on one of the containers and lifted out a photograph.  She showed it to Beverly, who felt tears prick her eyes.  The first image was unmistakable.  She had been sitting in the rocker by the window with Wesley feeding.  Both she and the baby had fallen asleep, and Jean-Luc had crept close, managing to get a picture that wasn’t indecent, but caught what he thought was the beauty of his friend’s family.  Jack hadn’t been enthralled with it, but obviously Jean-Luc had found it pleasing enough to keep.

“Can you take them upstairs to the second bedroom on the left?”

“Of course.” 

Five minutes and six crates later, Beverly closed the door after signing her acceptance of his belongings.

“Damn you, Jean-Luc Picard.”  She slumped against the door, slowly sliding down until she was sitting in a near-fetal position.  When Wesley crept down the stairs and sat next to her, she wrapped her arm around him. 

“It’ll be ok, Mommy.”  Wesley didn’t sound like he believed it at all.

#####

“Mommy, can we look in the boxes?”  Wesley had looked through his father’s things, but there hadn’t been much.  His Daddy had only had two boxes.  Uncle Jean-Luc had six. 

“I suppose.”  Beverly sat with her coffee at the table, slowly sorting through communiqués that she’d ignored in the days following Jean-Luc’s death.  The one she currently stared at was an official one from Starfleet requesting that she set a date for Jean-Luc’s funeral. 

She didn’t want to do it.  Not having his funeral let her pretend that he was still alive and would come home.  Beverly finished her coffee and held her hand out to her son.

“Let’s go look in some boxes, huh?  See what sort of stuff your uncle did when he wasn’t busy working?”

“Yeah!”  Wesley bounded up the stairs. 

Beverly followed her son into the room and began reading the labels on the boxes.  Jack’s had been labeled “personal effects” and hadn’t amounted to much, as he’d kept the majority of his belongings in their home.  Jean-Luc’s possessions had been largely in his small locker at Starfleet headquarters and on the Stargazer.  He had a few things in their spare bedroom, but he’d always hesitated to leave much beyond a few changes of clothes.  _Well, Jean-Luc, I guess it didn’t matter how much you could have crammed in here, does it?_

Wesley sighed and shifted, acting incredibly put-upon while his mother separated the crates. She put the “Ready Room” crate on the bed for her to sort through first, but put “Archeological Digs”, written in Jean-Luc’s blocky script, on the floor for Wesley.  She also gave him the crate marked “Sentimental Items”.  She knew Jean-Luc’s penchant for keeping old Terran treasures, and assumed that crate would hold antiques that would keep her son occupied.

She broke the seal on all three crates before taking in a fortifying breath. 

“Ready, kiddo?”

“Ready!”  Wesley answered with the emotional awareness of a child who had been surrounded by too much sorrow and now demanded joy.  Beverly nearly reprimanded him for his happiness but let him have his mood.  There would be many tears, perhaps for years to come. 

Beverly opened the crate labeled Ready Room and was surprised. Jean-Luc must have forgotten the crate after he had been forced to empty his ready room for the recent upgrade.  She pulled out a shirt she’d washed and tossed at him.  She shook her head.  _That man and packing.  It was a wonder he could keep track of anything._  She stopped her internal rant with the sudden realization that his packing didn’t matter anymore.  She’d check the chips that were on top later, but knew that anything in them was declassified.  The next to come was a spare uniform that should have been in the box.  It had something hard wrapped inside.  She carefully unwrapped the bundle.  Tears filled her eyes as she sank to her knees, leaned against the bed, and wept.

Wesley looked up from the ancient telephone he’d been playing with by making the single bell ding by repeatedly twirling the numbers around to zero.  He was glad his uncle had shown him how to play with it. He put the phone down and went to his mother, giving her a hug. 

“Why are you crying?”  He rested his head on her shoulder from behind.  

“Nothing, baby.”  She tugged him around and showed him what had made her cry.  “Remember when we took this?”

Wesley shook his head.  “No.”

“That’s ok, you were pretty little.”  She wiped the tears from her eyes and set the photograph aside.  “Enough crying.”  She dried her face on her shirt and stood back up.  “Ready to get back to work?”

“Sure.”  Wesley shrugged, a little less sure now.  He picked up the picture his mother set down and stared at the smiling faces of Uncle Jean, Mommy, and himself.  He smiled and hugged it.  “Can I have this, Mommy?  I like us happy like this.”  

“Yes.”  She’d pull her duplicate photo from the attic later, as she was sure Wesley wouldn’t be happy unless it was hanging in his room, and she suddenly felt their “family photo” needed to be hung somewhere prominent.  She’d nearly forgotten the day he and Jack had done their usual brotherly snipping at each other, after which Jean-Luc had asked for a photo with them, desiring a family photo.  Jack told him to sod off, that he wasn’t going to take one, as he’d actually become upset with his friend over something silly. Beverly had felt it was a nice idea, so she and Wesley had sat with him and had it taken.  He’d never mentioned it again.  Beverly had always wondered if Jack was actually angry with Jean-Luc, or if he’d been looking for a reason to not take the photo.  After Jack’s death, she realized she didn’t have a single picture with all three of them in it. 

“Mommy, look!”  Wesley held up a packet with a plain cover.

“What is it, Sweetie?”

“He kept my pictures!”  Wesley sat the folder down and began flipping through it. 

“Let me see, Honey.” 

Beverly sat next to her son on the floor, looking at first the file folder of pictures, and then the other contents of the crate, which were mostly pictures, data chips, and other treasures from their time with Picard.  Beverly brought a chip reader into the room and sat next to her son, inserting chip after chip, looking at messages, hearing COMMs that had been sent, and reading letters that had been sent to their fallen friend. 

The morning passed and melted into lunchtime.  They ate sandwiches and other finger foods while poking through the other boxes.  The importance of most of the findings were lost on the little boy, but his mother fought back tears.

Wesley suddenly stood and bounded to his uncle's dresser. He opened the middle drawer and pushed the button that would open the "secret" drawer hidden beneath the older man's underwear.

"Here, Mommy." Wesley handed her a small jewelry box. "This is for you."

"That's not for me, Wes. It must be Uncle Jean-Luc’s grandmothers. And we'll talk later about snooping in his room when he wasn't home."

"It is too for you." Wesley stomped his foot. "He told me he was going to give it to you."

Beverly began to speak again, and he held up his little hand, demanding silence. _He is so much like Jean-Luc when he's angry._  She nearly laughed at her thought and covered her mouth with her hands to hide her mirth.  _He may be Jack's biologically, but he's Jean-Luc's son._

"Wes, are you sure?"

"Uh huh. He said he wanted to be my daddy...now he won't be." He crossed his arms over his chest, and Beverly swore she had an annoyed miniature Jean-Luc glaring down at her. "And I wasn't snooping. He showed me how to open that drawer in case I ever needed anything in it."

"What would you possibly need from his underwear drawer?"

"He has these!" Wesley turned around and pulled out isolinear chips and handed them over. "He said the blue was for you and it has credits. He said the red is for me, and it's for coll..um, coll..."

"College?"

"Yeah." Wesley nodded. He handed her a purple one next. "He said this is how to call his brother, Robert. He said it made you sad to talk about this, so he wanted to know if I could be his big brave boy and tell you." Wesley's chin wobbled. "Did I do good?"

"You did wonderfully." Beverly held out her arms, and Wesley collapsed into her side.

"He asked me if it was ok if he married you. I asked him why he was asking me, and he said it was because he'd be my daddy." Wesley rubbed tired fists into his eyes. "I wanted him for my daddy." He looked up at her heartbrokenly. "He loved us more than Jack."

"Sweetheart, I know you're angry, but Jack Crusher was your father."

"I don't want him to be." Wesley pouted and turned away.  “Uncle Jean said after he gave you the ring, I could call him Daddy.  He promised!” His face contorted with anger and frustration as he screamed again.  “He promised!” 

“Baby, shhh.”  Beverly pulled her distraught son into her arms.  She wept with him as she realized that in all of this, she never once wanted to talk to Jack, but she’d repeatedly wanted to talk to Jean-Luc.  The man really had been her co-parent. 

######

Hours later, Beverly rocked Wesley to sleep.  She’d been reading to him for a couple of years, but they both needed the comfort and familiarity rocking represented.  He laid his head on her shoulder and let out an occasional shuddery half-sigh-half-cry in his sleep. 

“Good night, Baby.”  She’d carried him to his bed and carefully tucked him in.  “I love you.”  She pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and stroked his temple.  His door was often shut for sleeping, but tonight she left it open.  She wanted to hear him immediately if he woke.

Beverly wandered the house a bit, doing her best to avoid the kitchen.  She picked up toys in the living room and closed up boxes in Jean-Luc’s room.  She cleaned up the bathroom a bit and watered the plants in the hall.  With a heavy sigh, she made her way to the kitchen and sat at the table.

She pulled out the first letter on the pile and opened it fully from its tri-folded position.

“Request for Information Regarding Funerary Obligations.” Picard had been a captain, and his crew was wondering when they could pay their respects.  All Beverly had been told was that he’d died honorably in the line of duty, but apparently he’d earned his crew’s gratitude in the process.  She looked at the calendar and chose a date only a few days away.  It was near enough to dread and far enough away to prepare Wesley for the final goodbyes that would be so hard.  She checked that “yes”, she wanted his flag and that he should receive the full military funeral and salutes. 

“Request for Headstone” She sat filling out forms with tears rolling down her cheeks.  His date of death was his birthday.  The lines were directly under one another, with fifty short years to separate them.  She wiped at a splatter of tears as she filled out his full name and checked the box for “no body recovered”, meaning he’d receive a plaque that could be hung anywhere. There were optional phrases to include that had been in use for centuries and were often considered comforting.  When she read past the phrase “beloved husband and father”, she laid her head on her arms and wept.

When his headstone arrived the day before his funeral, she unpacked it carefully with Wesley at her side.

“What’s that?”  He pointed to the silver and gold piece.

“It’s his headstone.”

“What does it say?”

“Jean-Luc Picard, and that’s his birthday and the day he died.”  She pointed carefully to each thing on the plaque.  Her throat tightened when she read the last words.  “Beloved.”

########

Beverly stared at the man standing in her doorway. Jean-Luc's funeral wasn't until the next day, and Wesley had already gone to bed. She wasn't impressed with his timing.   
  
"How can I help you?" She put her nose between her thumb and middle finger, hoping to stave off the headache that had been brewing for hours.   
  
"I am sorry to be here at such an unpleasant hour." His heavily accented voice was difficult to understand at first. His "Stargazer" identification badge shone in the moonlight. 

"Come in." She backed away from the door and let him in. If nothing else, she needed a cup of coffee for this. Hopefully it wasn't a shipmate in need of absolution. She knew she didn't have the patience for that garbage. "Would you like some coffee?"  
  
"No, thank you." The tall man drew in a deep breath. "I do not know if Starfleet told you of how Captain Picard died, but it is important for you and your son to know."   
  
Beverly put down the coffee pot and leaned heavily against the counter. Silent sobs caught in her throat as she considered how to respond.  She wasn’t sure where this confusion that he was her husband came from, yet she didn’t feel as if she had the strength to correct anyone at this point.  Her heart was too raw to deny him in any way. Thankfully, he began speaking without her acknowledgement.  She turned around, watching him silently.  
  
"Our ship was attacked without warning or provocation. Your husband spared many lives through his quick thinking and solid commands." Beverly wiped at her face and nodded. "I was his first officer." The man's face took on a look of pride. "He ordered all hands to abandon ship and took the helm. I was to take command of the shuttles until he joined us."  
  
"What happened?"   
  
"The enemy ship didn't stop firing until all pods had deployed. He stayed at the helm, operating weapons, as well. He saved everyone on board." The man stood and headed for the door.   
  
"There was only one life lost, and it is one I shall both honor and mourn for the rest of my life."

######

“Honey, are you ready?”  Beverly called up the stairs at her wayward son.  Jean-Luc’s memorial service was in less than an hour, and the child had been dragging his feet all morning.

“NO!”  Wesley screamed from his bedroom.  “I’M NOT GOING!”

“We have to go, Sweetie.”  Beverly spoke as she climbed the stairs.  “We’re his family.”

“No!  They’re gonna give you another flag, and then everyone will shake your hand, and pat me on the head, and tell me to be a good boy, just like they did with Daddy!” 

“Wes, you’re not Jean Luc’s son.  They won’t do that.”

“He was more my Daddy than Daddy was!”  Wesley flung himself onto his pillow, sobbing.  “We never saw Daddy.  Uncle Jean was here all the time, and he called if he was gone, and…”

“And this is a lot, I know.”  Beverly sat next to her dirty little boy.  She’d sent him up to bathe and put on his clean clothes almost a half hour before.  “We have to do this, Honey.”

“No, we don’t.”  Wesley sniffed.  “If we don’t go, we can pretend like he’s coming home.”

Beverly wiped away her own tears, setting them aside for later.  Perhaps the hardest part of being a parent were days like this, when she agreed with her child yet had to act in a different way.

“We’re his next of kin, Wesley.  We’re his family.  If we don’t go, everyone will think no one loved him.”

“But we do love him.”

“Yes, we do.”  Beverly spoke quietly into his ear as his sobs slowly stopped.  “Part of loving someone is loving them enough to do things we don’t want to do.”

“Like saying goodbye?”

“Yes.  Like saying goodbye.” 

“Mommy?”  Wesley sounded more lost than he had in days, and Beverly crouched before him, hoping she could help him through this.

“Yes, baby?”

“Is it ok if I call him Daddy out loud?”  He looked down and wiped his nose.  “I call him Daddy in my head, because he would have been my Daddy if he’d given you that ring.  He promised.”  Wesley choked on a sob.  Beverly thought about it for a moment, wondering what others would say, and then decided to forget anyone else.  Jean-Luc had told her son that he would be Daddy.  That was enough for her.

“Of course you can.”  She pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and wiped the snot from his face.  “Now go get cleaned up and put on the suit on your bed.”

####

Jean-Luc’s funeral was slightly different from Jack’s, owing mostly to his standing as captain.  There were more speakers, and all of them sung Jean-Luc’s praises as a dedicated officer.  The last to speak was Ben Zoma, the man who had interrupted Beverly’s solitude the night before.

“Captain Picard was an officer who we could look up to for many reasons, but perhaps the one reason that has not been touched on is his dedication to family.”  Many mourners saw the Stargazer crew’s heads nod, and they wondered who his family had been.  Several local individuals knew he’d been to visit the Crushers many times, but would not have labeled them his family.

“We all knew what time was set aside for his family.  We heard stories of his games with his son, and childish artwork was always on display in his ready room.  His family portrait was usually on his desk, and I remember how upset he was when he returned to the Stargazer after her most recent refit and realized he’d left a box at home.  He wasn’t upset about his spare uniform, which he replicated.  He wasn’t bothered by the data, which he simply recalled from his console.  No, he was distraught over his son’s most recent artwork and his family’s picture.”  He took a deep breath.

“I believe I can speak for all of his crew when I say that he showed us how to keep a good relationship with our families, unlike so many other commanding officers.  As much as we miss him, I can only imagine that his death is felt far greater by his wife and son.  Thank you for helping him teach us all how to maintain good relationships no matter the distance between.” 

The Stargazer crew applauded politely, most while nodding to Beverly and Wesley, whom they recognized from his photograph.  Some confusion had existed while Jack was alive, yet the confusion ended when their captain’s steady contact with the woman and child remain unchanged following Jack’s death.  Many considered themselves fortunate to have his example early in their careers.

Beverly sat numbly with Wesley pressed close to her side.  She lifted her hands to receive the flag handed to her, unaware of anyone looking their way, or the curious glances many in attendance shot each other.  The hushed whispers passed between all mourners seemed to be, ‘Had she remarried that soon after her husband’s death?’ 

Wesley wormed his way under her arm, laying his hand on hers and crying softly into her side.  It wasn’t fair.  It wasn’t fair at all.

######

“Where will you put his flag?” Beverly’s best friend, Elise sat on the couch in the Crusher’s living room.

“Next to Jack’s.” Beverly wiped her cheeks once again as a fresh set of tears started to overwhelm her.

“Next to your husband’s flag is an unusual place to put a friend’s.”

“Jean-Luc was more than just a friend.” Beverly’s voice caught. "Jean-Luc is... was....special to me...and to Wesley."

"What do you mean?"

"He cared for Wesley as if he were his own...certainly more than his own father ever did." Elise's eyes grew big.

"You mean Jack didn't pay attention to his child?"

"Jack liked the idea of having a progeny more than actually raising his child. Despite serving on the same ship as Jean-Luc, Wesley and I saw Jean-Luc more even before Jack's death. I could use the excuse of seniority, but no. Jack just wasn't as interested in Wesley as Jean-Luc...and vice versa."

“What do you mean?” Elise was more than a little confused, but tried to remember if she saw the Captain more than she had Jack before his death. Certainly, there had been an increase in the balding man's visits after Jack's death, but Elise had always chalked it up to the man looking after his best friend's widow and child. She never would have suspected Beverly’s marriage wasn't as perfect as it had seemed. She turned her attention back to her friend.

“Who do you think Wesley wanted to call and tell his accomplishments to? It wasn’t Jack.” Beverly shook her head. “Jean-Luc has always been more interested in Wesley. He loved my son as if he were his own. And Wesley...Wesley loved Jean-Luc."

"And you?" Beverly began crying again.

"Jean-Luc was my best friend since I was a fresh faced cadet and my advisor, Walker, introduced me to his friends at a bar."

Elise noticed that Beverly had avoided the actual question. She glanced at the sleeping child on the sofa with dried tear tracks running down his face. The boy had hardly stopped since the day Elise had watched the severe Yeomen walk up the path. Beverly cleared her throat.

“Wesley asked Jean-Luc asked if he could be his Daddy a few months ago.” She choked back another sob. “You have no idea how badly I wish he could have been.”

 _Well_ , Elise thought to herself, _there's the answer_. Out loud, she made soothing noises and rubbed her friend's back. Whatever relationship had or hadn't been going on, it was obvious Beverly was going to need help coping with the loss.

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, the story is still sad. Beverly and Wesley are still muddling through following the funeral and some unexpected things. Sometimes decisions are emotional, especially when in states of grief. 
> 
> Thanks again to AnnaOnTheMoon for helping me catch a wide variety of continuity errors, as this was written in snippets between four different locations. Well, ok, the whole story has been written that way.

#######

 “Mommy?”

“Yes, Wes?”

“What will we do for my birthday?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”  Wesley’s chin wiggled.  “Daddy Jean promised to take us to the beach.” 

“I know.”  Beverly sighed.  The man really had been more involved in Wesley’s life than Jack.  When Jack died, it had been business as usual for Wesley.  No missing calls, no cancelled plans, and no tears over missed birthdays.  Sometimes she really did wonder what she’d been thinking when she married him.  “How about we go to the beach anyway?” 

“It won’t be the same.”  Wesley picked at his shirt.

“Nothing will be the same as it was before, Wesley.  I’m sorry, but it won’t be.”

“I know.”  Wesley turned and moped out of the room before calling back, “We can go to the beach.  Can I take the kite Daddy gave me?”

“Of course, Baby.”  She wiped a tear and went back to making dinner.   As much as she loved and missed Jean-Luc Picard, there were times she hated how entwined he’d become in their lives, only to leave.

Beverly waited until Wesley went to bed before trying to make contact with Walker.  She didn’t want Wesley to get his hopes up, only to have them dashed if his other “uncle” wasn’t able to make it.  Beverly bit her lip as she waited, hoping nothing had happened to her other friend.  They’d not heard from him since Jean-Luc’s funeral, which was odd.  She attempted a link with him again, only to be put into a wait a second time. 

The young mother sighed and sent him a message.  Hopefully he’d respond in time to make plans.   

####

Jean-Luc Picard had been in the escape pod for nearly a month, if his calculations were correct.  He’d still not managed to correct the chronometer, communications, navigational, or environmental systems meaning he often woke short of breath and if he moved too much while awake, he struggled to breathe.  He was getting tired of sitting.  How was it that no other ships had come this way?   

His head spun at times with questions, thoughts, memories, and dreams.  He missed Beverly and Wesley.  Had he still been on the Stargazer, he’d have called them at least four times.  Jack Crusher had been one lucky bastard. 

A stray thought ran through Picard’s mind, and he hoped he was wrong, and that Wesley had simply forgotten things in his childlikeness.  _“I wish I was your boy.”  Wes wiped a tear away.  “I know you’re not my daddy, but I don’t remember him.  He was never here.  But you make sure to call when you’re away, and…”_ Jean-Luc decided he’d ask Beverly about how frequently Jack was around or called, as she’d also made an odd comment once regarding Jack’s seeming avoidance of his family.  Before his death, Jack spoke of his family often.  Perhaps, though, he’d not spoken to them as frequently.  The thought bothered him.  He thought about the ring, hidden away in his drawer at Beverly’s house, and desperately wished he had asked her to marry him the last time he was there.

Another week passed, and Jean-Luc began coughing more frequently.  He woke soaked with sweat, feeling as if a great weight was on him.  Each check of the controls revealed environmental controls that were functioning properly.  Either the controls were giving misinformation, or Jean-Luc was in trouble.  He still clung to hope that it was the former.

######

“Happy birthday, Mommy!”  Wesley came running into the kitchen where Beverly sat sipping her first cup of coffee.

“Thank you, Sweetie.”  Beverly gave him a kiss on the head and nodded to the poorly wrapped present he clutched.   “Is that for me?”

“Yes!”  He bounced a bit.  He’d been so excited to buy his present.  He rarely went out without his mom, but she’d allowed him to go with his friend Heath and his mom, her friend Elise.  He’d bought her present then. 

_Beverly had balked when Jean-Luc decided to teach Wesley how to manage his personal affairs early._

_“He’s too young to understand, Jean-Luc.”_

_“Nonsense.”  Picard had placed a small box on the corner of Wesley’s dresser. “The earlier the lessons begin, the better he’ll do as he grows.  We’re almost a credit-less society, but we’re not quite.”_

_“Don’t give him much, then.”_

_“Oh, no.  He’s six years old, so six credits is all.”  Beverly had rolled her eyes, but left her friend to his task.  She trusted him, even if she thought he was a little too old-fashioned at times._

“How did you get this?”

“Daddy helped!”  Wesley beamed.  “He taught me how to go to the store and use credits to buy things, and then he gave me six credits!  I bought it all by myself!”  He finished speaking as his face turned serious.  “Mommy, do you think he’d be proud of me?”  His lower lip trembled as Beverly placed the unopened gift on the table and pulled her darling boy close.

“I know he would be, Honey.  He’d be so proud.”  Her present would have to wait.

#####

Wesley was tucked in bed and Beverly was at the kitchen sipping a glass of wine.  It had been a quiet, pleasant, yet sad-overcast birthday.  They both missed Jean-Luc.  Her earlier call to Walker had resulted in a wait time yet no conversation, so she decided to call again.

She waited for the link to connect.  Beverly finished her wine and washed her glass before giving up entirely.  She turned off the monitor before deciding to have another small glass of wine.

Beverly Crusher sat at the table, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.  She couldn’t find the words to express how much she missed Jean-Luc, so she lifted her glass in a silent toast before resting her head on her arms and weeping.

#####

Walker sat in his quarters, staring at the monitor. ‘Incoming call, Doctor Beverly Crusher.’

He glanced at the chronometer. It was her birthday today. He probably should talk to her, but it felt weird, being the last of the three musketeers standing.  He hadn’t seen Beverly since Jean-Luc’s funeral, where she acted very much the part of the grieving widow, which caused Walker to wonder just how much of his friend’s lives had he missed in the two and a half years since Jack’s death?  He knew his friend had been in love with her since they met, so them getting together would have made sense.  Of course he’d heard the rumors circulating that they’d married, and of course she’d gotten his flag, but wasn’t she his next of kin, anyway?  He couldn’t believe they’d get married and not tell him…but Gilaad’s speech did little to dissuade him from his thought.  

It wasn’t that he had been deliberately avoiding his friends – currently not answering Beverly’s call not withstanding - but he didn’t know what to say to Beverly after the loss of Jack, and he doubly so didn’t know what to say to her now.  He’d kept in closer contact with Jean-Luc, but the man hadn’t mentioned moving forward with their relationship.  Or had he just missed it?

 Walker sighed and pressed the button to answer, but Beverly must have given up as there was no one there. He debated calling her back, but just as he had his finger pressed on the ‘recall’ button he changed his mind. He would have to send her an apologetic letter later.

######

Robert Picard sat at his kitchen table with a box of photographs his wife had kept from his brother's letters over the years. He flipped through a handful of them, turning them over to look at dates and with luck, names.   
  
"Jean-Luc had a son." His voice registered awe as he focused on a picture of Wesley sitting on Jean-Luc's lap, both making "blow" faces at the candle-lit cake before them. Jean-Luc's hand was wrapped carefully around the toddler’s body, and one of his larger hands kept a tiny hand away from the flames.   
  
The next photo had Jean-Luc and Wesley in a mess of frosting because Wesley had leaned forward and taken a bite out of the cake. The little one had frosting from his forehead all the way past his chin, and had wiped part of it on Jean-Luc's shirt. Picard was laughing, reaching out for the towel someone was handing him.   
  
He was captivated by pictures of Beverly sleeping with Wesley at her breast. He chuckled over one of Jean-Luc and his boy being outside without shirts on. They both stood with their hands on their hips, staring with serious expressions at something off-camera. Another picture showed the pair sleeping with a vid playing.  There were dozens more.  
  
"You should read his letters as well, my love." Marie patted her husband's arm. "It's too late to fix things with him, yes, but you have a nephew. It's not too late with him."  
  
"Why didn't you..." He motioned helplessly toward the stacks on the table. "Make me, tell me, something?"  
  
"The letters always sat on the table for a few days." Her voice was calm, despite disliking being blamed for what wasn't her fault.  
  
"Always until I told you to throw them away."  
  
Marie nodded. "I put them away every time, hoping you'd at least ask me what was in them."  
  
"I've been a fool." Robert's voice grew thick. "It's time I do right by my brother." He looked at his wife in earnest. "We missed his funeral, you said?"  
  
"Yes, that was last week. I didn't open the letter from Starfleet in time."  
  
"No matter, no matter," he shook his head. "We may not have been welcome anyway."  
  
"Nonsense." Her voice finally held irritation. "His wife, Beverly, sent along a pleasant note with the official notice. She wasn't sure you'd want to hear from them, so she kept it all as non-personal as possible."  
  
"She's a wise woman."  
  
"She's a grieving woman with a small child who can't handle one more heartbreak. Please. Read his letters and look at the pictures.  Then I'd like to go visit them."

Robert sat reading for the better part of the afternoon.  He rose occasionally for a new cup of tea or to embrace his wife as she walked past.  She smiled and accepted his affection, not voicing her thoughts on his need for extra contact.  As with everything else that made her husband who he was, she accepted it and adjusted.

“I have so many questions.”  He stood and paced the kitchen, wondering things aloud and not actually expecting any answers.  

“Who do you think this Jack fellow is? Why is Jean-Luc so concerned over how he treats Wesley and Beverly?”

“I don’t know, perhaps he’s Beverly’s brother? Jean-Luc mentioned his death and having to inform Beverly.”

“Ah, that must be it then. But why did he have so much guilt over loving her?” Marie shook her head. “His letters were at times confusing and I feel like I’m missing something.”

“I don’t know, Robert. You know, Jean-Luc asked me to send him your grandmother’s ring for her?” Marie looked down and sifted through the pile of letters.  “He put in a direct call to me while you were in the field.  It was just after this letter, where he speaks of Jack dying.”

“I wonder why he waited so long to marry her?”  He looked at his wife in confusion.  “No, you never told me.  It’s his, though.  Maman left it to him in her will.”

“Honestly, Robert, I was afraid you wouldn’t allow me to send it.”

Robert’s voice was thick with unshed tears as he traced his finger down an image of Jean-Luc and Wesley. “I messed up, didn’t I?”

“Oui. I’m not going to pretend that I ever understood why you never spoke with you brother, but you can at least do right by his son and widow.” Robert nodded.

“I wonder why her last name is Crusher and not Picard?  But I suppose it doesn’t matter.  It’s obvious that Jean-Luc loved her fiercely.”

“And for that, we need to accept her and her son unquestioningly into our family.”

Robert nodded his agreement and went to their communications console.  He spoke clearly, following the directions Beverly had provided in her letter to them regarding Jean-Luc’s funeral.  Moments later, an exhausted-looking redheaded woman appeared on the screen and arrangements were made for their visit. Robert ended the call and called his assistant.  For the first time in as many years as Robert had been running the vineyard, he turned the daily operations over to his assistant for the following week.  

######

“Walker, I don’t know what I’ve done, or what’s going on, but I really need to talk to you.”  Beverly’s voice shook.  “Wesley’s having problems in school, and I don’t know what to do.  We didn’t hear from you for his birthday, so I got a card and signed your name.  He can’t handle any more losses.”  The graying man could hear her tears and felt his own eyes fill with sorrow as he listened to her.  He just didn’t know what to say.  “Please, whatever you’re angry with me over, talk it out with me for Wesley’s sake, ok?  He needs you.”  She waited a few moments before ending her message.  “I’ve talked to Robert and Marie, and they’ll be here in a few hours.  He and Jean-Luc never mended their fences, but he wants to be here for Wesley.  He wants to do it for his brother’s sake, for his nephew.  I know, I’m not making much sense.  I just…  Please.  Just call me.” 

Walker sat back, more perplexed than ever.  He didn’t know what to make of her messages.  He had tried to find out if she and Jean-Luc had gotten married, but he’d not found any evidence of a marriage certificate, so why was she even talking to Robert?  Why would Jean-Luc’s brother want to be there for Wesley?  Walker hit save on the transmission and moved to his next message.  He’d call her later, when he had the time. 

######

Robert and Marie materialized on the transporter pad near Beverly’s home. “We should have been here before.”  Robert shook his head.  “I wish I’d not been so stubborn and had read his letters.”

“Set it aside, Dearest, and let’s meet our family.”

Minutes later, they were ringing the bell at the address given.  Wesley opened the door and his face lit up for a moment before crumbling.  He stood staring at Robert for another minute before running away to his room, his loud wails echoing off the walls.

Beverly came running, looking at the couple in the door.  Her face blanched as she realized that Wesley must have thought Jean-Luc had returned for a moment.  She held up her hand and ran for the stairs, desperate to comfort her son.

“I’m so sorry!  Please make yourselves comfortable.  I’ll be right back!”  She called as she raced after her sobbing child.

Marie ran her hand comfortingly down Robert’s chest.  “You look a lot like your brother.”

“Yes, I saw the excitement on the boy’s face, and then…”  His voice broke. Marie nodded and led him a few steps further into the house.  She shut the door behind them and nodded to a doorway. 

“The kitchen is in there.  Why don’t we go make a pot of tea?”  Robert let her lead the way.

####

“I don’t understand. You’re _not_ my brother’s widow?”

Beverly studied the cup of tea Marie had placed before her. “I....I love Jean-Luc very much. But we never....we never were married.” Beverly pulled the necklace with the ring out of her shirt and showed it to Robert and Marie. “I didn’t even know he planned on asking me to marry him until Wesley told me, and I found a personal log of his, in which he was practicing various ways of asking me.”

“But, Wesley is his son?”

“N....no. They were close though, and Wesley sometimes calls him Daddy. After Jack, my husband, died...no, even before Jack died, Wesley was always closer to Jean-Luc.”  She held up her hand and listened carefully for a moment.  “I’m going to check on Wesley, and I have a data chip I’m supposed to give you from Jean-Luc.  I’ve not looked at it.”  She smiled shyly.  “I can let you use our reader in privacy.”

“Thank you, my dear.”  Robert and Marie watched as Beverly headed up the stairs to check on the noises she heard.  “She’s lovely.”

“No wonder your brother loved her so entirely.”  Marie smiled sadly.  “At least he will have a son to carry on his name.”

“A stepson of sorts, but yes, he left behind a family.”

Upstairs, Beverly helped Wesley finish pulling Jean-Luc’s old uniform out of his closet. 

“What are you doing, Sweetie?”

“I miss Daddy.”  Tears still streaked his face.  “It’s like getting a hug.” 

“Well then come on, and let’s get you wrapped up in a hug.”  Beverly sat on the side of his bed as he stretched out the uniform and laid down in it, wrapping it around himself.  “Feel safer?”

“Yeah.”  His eyes closed and he buried his nose in the fabric, taking a deep breath of the scent that remained.  Beverly pressed a kiss to his hair before leaving him to his nap.

Before returning to her guests, Beverly retrieved the chip Jean-Luc had left for them.  Perhaps she should have looked at them sooner, but she felt it was a bit like looking at other people’s mail. She flipped the chip in her hand and whispered her wish that he was here.

“Here you are.”  She put a chip reader on the table along with the data chip. 

“How is Wesley?”  Marie put her hand on Beverly’s.

“He’s fine.”  Beverly’s smile was sad.  “He was getting one of Jean-Luc’s uniforms to wrap himself in.  He needed a hug from Daddy.”  She wiped a tear from her face and started to leave the room. 

“Please stay with us.”  Robert spoke.  “I’m sure that whatever he said concerns you.” Robert softly smiled at her. “Jean-Luc loved you. Here, we brought his letters. I hadn’t read them before a few days ago, but Marie always read them right away. He talks of you and Wesley as if you are his family...and I suppose you were.”

“Yes. Jean-Luc was just as much a part of this family.”

“Jean-Luc obviously cared a great deal for you, Beverly. He ah, he named your Wesley as his heir.”

Beverly blanched. “He told me years ago he was going to, but I never dreamed he actually did…what…what does it mean for Wesley?”

“Your son now owns half of the Picard estate.”

“No,” Beverly gasped as more tears sprung to her eyes. “We don’t...we don’t want it.”

“Please Beverly. Obviously, Jean-Luc regarded Wesley as his son. He wouldn’t have left provisions if he didn’t.  With as often as I’ve wronged my brother, please.  Let me honor his last wishes.”

“I....thank you. What do we need to do?”

“It’s just a matter of signing some paperwork. Naturally, you will hold his monies in trust until he reaches eighteen....and if you’re in agreement, we can draw up the same papers Jean-Luc and I had, giving me permission to run the vineyard and make decisions without consulting him, unless it involves selling part of the vineyard.”

“Yes, of course. I don’t know how to make wine. Oh, I suppose we should learn.”

Robert grinned. “You’re welcome any time, my dear. I only wish I hadn’t been so stubborn with Jean-Luc, but please. I would welcome you as my sister and Wesley as my nephew.”

“Thank you.” Beverly played with the ring on the necklace around her neck. “Robert? I’ve been giving this some thought...with your permission I would like to change Wesley and my last name to Picard. It would be...a fitting legacy for Jean-Luc, I think.”

“Your husband’s family won’t mind?”

Beverly shook her head. “I haven’t heard from Jack’s family in years.  I reached out to them to invite them to his Kindergarten graduation, but…” she shrugged.  “They began distancing themselves when Jack died, and now they’re totally absent.”

“Then by all means. But you don’t need my permission for it.”

“Thank you,” Beverly smiled at Robert and Marie. “I’m sorry Wesley ran off when he saw you. But you and Jean-Luc bear a striking resemblance to each other.”

“Ah, yes. I might be older by a few years, but people always thought we were twins. I’m sorry. Do you think he would accept me as his uncle?”

“Would you mind waiting here?” He nodded. Beverly went upstairs and found her son awake but still wrapped tightly in Jean-Luc’s uniform. She sat next to him and stroked his temple gently. “Wesley....don’t you want to meet our guests?”

“NO! He looks like Daddy, but he isn’t Daddy. I don’t like him.”

Beverly laughed. “It’s Robert. You remember? You gave me a chip from Daddy telling me how to reach him in an emergency?”

“Daddy’s brother?” Beverly nodded.

“So...is he my uncle?”

“I’m sure he would be thrilled if you called him uncle. Come on, let’s go talk to him and your Aunt Marie.”

Wesley asked to be carried, and since he was feeling so insecure, Beverly picked him up and carried him down the stairs.  She teased him once about him being so big, but he only whimpered and clung to her tighter, wrapping his legs around her waist so tightly it almost hurt. She stopped before going into the kitchen and reminded him that she loved him, and they would be ok.

Robert looked up into the tearful face of his nephew and felt his heart break.  He could only imagine losing a father such as Jean-Luc had been.  Robert had seen picture after picture of his brother’s involvement in this little one’s life. 

“Hello, Wesley, I’m your Uncle Robert, and this is your Aunt Marie.”

“Hi.”  Wesley waved shyly from where he partially hid his face in his mother’s shoulder. “You look like my Daddy.” 

Robert felt a smile creep over his features.  He’d enjoy having a nephew.

#####

Walker Keel sat at his desk, glaring at the blinking light on his screen.  He checked the name and grimaced.  Beverly.  Again.  He frowned deeper as he felt anger course through him once again at the memory of finding out through gossip at Jean-Luc’s funeral that the pair must have gotten married.  He’d listened to her other messages several times over, and there was nothing in them to make him believe otherwise.  His best friends had left him out of their lives, and now she wanted him around, but only because her husband was gone.  Her second husband.  He snarled and hit the mute button before playing it. 

“All this technology, and we can’t delete messages without playing them.”  He groused as he went about his work, glancing at the screen to see if the message had reached its end yet. 

“Walker, I hope you get this and listen to it.”  Beverly’s voice sounded defeated, even to her own ears.  “I don’t know if you listen to my messages anymore, honestly.  You’ve never once…”  She stopped her angry tirade.  “I’m sorry.  I promised myself I’d not go there.  I wanted to let you know I’m changing our last name to Picard.  Please, contact me.”  She waited a moment.  “I know you’re avoiding me.  I don’t know why. I wish I did.  I can’t even tell you how much it hurts to know that I’ve done something so bad, hurtful, whatever, that you won’t even talk it out with me.  I’m sorry for Wesley’s sake.  He needs you, Walker Keel.”  She bit back a sob.  “I’ll leave you alone, I guess.  I hope one day you’ll tell me what I did to ruin our friendship.  Goodbye.”

The message finally reached the end and he hit delete with a vicious jab.  He had a stash of other messages he had already listened to and hadn’t responded to.  The added guilt of another was more than he wanted to deal with at the moment. 

He switched back over to the screen he’d been working on and signed off on the requisition forms for his ship’s upgrade.  He blew out a heavy sigh and cursed Jean-Luc Picard.  He wanted to be a captain, but not because of the man’s death.

######

Two weeks later, when Walker decided to contact Beverly, he received a notice in return that his message was undeliverable. “No such person exists in Starfleet files.”

“Computer, connect me to Dr. Beverly Crusher, Starfleet Medical.”

“Unable to comply.  No such person exists in Starfleet files.”

“Computer, connect me to Dr. Beverly Howard.”

“Unable to comply.  No such person exists in Starfleet files.”

“Dammit.”  Walker sat and put his head in his hands.  He had failed his friends.  The thought never even crossed his mind to try Picard, since even if the rumors of their marriage were true, Beverly had still been using Crusher.

Far away on the planet Earth, Beverly looked at the final paperwork that verified she and her son were now Picards.  Robert smiled grimly as he poured the adults a round of scotch and refilled Wesley’s apple juice.

“To Jean-Luc Picard.”  His breath caught as he looked around the table.  “My brother who loved you so much.” 

“To Jean-Luc.”  The adults clinked glasses, showing Wesley how to do a toast.

“To Daddy.”  His voice wobbled.  “I miss you.”

“To Daddy.”

Later that night, Robert and Marie lay in bed, quietly discussing their expected child and Robert’s guilt. 

“If I ever begin to mistreat our child…” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell you.” 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promise there are happier times ahead. There really are. Sometimes dealing with what we've lost when most don't understand is harder because the grief has to be more secret, more silent, and more cloistering....until someone demands to be let in and helps in unexpected ways.

#####

“Wesley, time to get ready for school,” Beverly stuck her head around the corner of Wesley’s bedroom where he was still lying in bed with the covers pulled over his head.

“Don’t wanna.”

“Why not?”  Beverly walked into Wesley’s room and sat on the corner of his bed and patted his leg.  “You love school.”

“Don’t wanna b’cause I can’t tell Daddy about it.”

Beverly frowned. Today should have been Wesley’s first day back at school since the funeral. She had allowed Wesley to have nearly four weeks off between finding out about Jean-Luc’s death, the funeral, and Robert and Marie’s visit, but it was time for them to try to get back into a normal routine. She knew how Wesley felt though. She wasn’t looking forward to her shift at Starfleet Medical, either.

“Wes, I know you miss him, baby. I do too. But he would want,” Beverly’s voice caught in her throat, “Daddy would want us to live our lives. Don’t you still want to be a starship captain like him?”

“Uh-huh.” Wesley peeked his head out from under the covers.

“In order to get into the Academy, you have to go to school.” Wesley frowned.

“Then I don’t wanna go to the academy.”

 “You don’t mean that.”

“I do! Daddy won’t be there to see me gradumate and become the bestest captain ever!” Beverly sighed.

“You mean, graduate, and it’s best, not bestest.  Bestest isn’t a word.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Ok.”  Beverly ruffled his hair.  “You have to go to school.  I have to go to work.  We don’t have a choice.”  Wesley sighed dramatically and flopped back into his bed.  “We had a week with your Uncle Robert and Aunt Marie and you have a new name to go to school with.”

 “Uh-huh.”  Wesley leaned against his mother.  “I wish Daddy married you like he said he wanted to.”

“So do I, Baby.”  Beverly kissed the top of Wesley’s head. 

“Why don’t you wear your ring?”  He pulled the chain she kept around her neck and tugged the ring out of the top of her shirt.  “It’s pretty.”

“People might misunderstand.”

“They’ll misunderstand that he wanted to be my daddy and marry you?”  He looked genuinely confused.  “Would they think it was a bad thing?”  Beverly didn’t know if she could explain it to him.

#####

“Mister Crusher, please take your seat.” Wesley ignored his teacher and carried on coloring. Mrs T’Zal raised her eyebrows. “Mister Crusher, did you hear me?” Wesley continued to ignore her. She walked over to him and gently pulled his hands away from the crayons. “Art time is over, Mister Crusher. Time to take a seat.”

“My name is not Mister Crusher.”

“Yes it is. Your name is Wesley Crusher. Your mother is Doctor Crusher, and your father....” the teacher trailed off and looked at Wesley’s family drawing. “Your father was not a Captain. He was a Lieutenant Commander and he was an engineer, not in command.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Mister Crusher. You’re skating on thin ice here. We do not lie.” Wesley looked up at his teacher with angry tears in his eyes.

“My DADDY WAS A CAPTAIN AND MY NAME IS WESLEY PICARD!” Wesley knocked over the box of crayons and ran from the room, sobbing.

Mrs. T’Zal touched her COMM badge. “Security to the second grade room. I need you to get a student under control for me.”

 “We’ll be right there.”

 “I’ll go.”  A tall Klingon looked at the security feed and rose from his seat.  “Would someone please call his mother?”

Worf Rozhenko sighed heavily as he marched down the hall.  When he joined Star Fleet and entered Security, he had no idea that his first posting would be at a children’s school.  This wasn’t exactly what he’d envisioned himself doing.  When he reached the hallway with the upset child, he understood why he’d been called.  Wesley stood screaming at his teacher from the hallway, little fists flailing at empty air as accusations of not understanding anything flew from his mouth.

“Silence!”  Worf bellowed above the angry screams.  “We do not behave like this in school.”

Wesley quieted for a moment before charging angrily at the Klingon.  Worf braced himself and deftly lifted Wesley into a snug hold, his arms trapping both Wesley’s arms and legs. 

“That’s enough.” 

“I want my Daddy!”  Wesley broke down into sobs, still struggling for freedom.

“I’m sorry.”  Worf knew the pain of losing a father, and wondered how he’d have felt if the man who had taken him in had died, as the captain who had taken in this little boy.  He steeled himself against any emotion he may have felt.  He had a job to do.

#####

“What’s wrong, Wesley?”  Beverly sat in the school counselor’s office with her distraught son.

He crossed his arms and glared at her.  The counselor sighed. 

“Doctor Crusher, we’re concerned because he seemed better than expected when his father died.  We, his teacher and I, believe that he’s put off dealing with his father’s death, and is experiencing compounded grief.  We’ve tried to get him to talk to us, but he won’t.”

“What set him off today?”  Beverly rubbed at her temple.  She’d deal with being called the wrong name later.  Their files should have been updated, but it’s entirely possible that the headmistress hadn’t looked.

“The incident took place when his class was asked to draw their families.  He drew a picture of himself, you, and a man in a red uniform, instead of his father’s yellow.  When Ms. T’Zal reminded him that they were drawing their families, he became angry. He also refused to respond to his own name.”

“I WAS DRAWING MY DADDY!”  Wesley stood, tears streaming down his face.  His fists drew tight against his legs, and he looked so tense Beverly was afraid he’d hurt himself if he tried to move.

She reached out and drew him to her anyway and he melted into her chest. 

“I was drawing Daddy.”  He sobbed over and over.  Beverly didn’t care about the tears running down her face, or the fact that the councilor was looking in a database to see if he was in fact drawing his father.

“I know, Baby.”  Beverly kissed his forehead when he finally quieted.  “I know you were drawing Daddy.”

“Doctor Crusher…”  Beverly held up her hand and cut the councilor off. 

“If my son says he was drawing his daddy, he was damned well drawing his daddy.”  She drew in a deep breath and continued.  “By the way, check your files.”  Beverly’s voice dripped with venom.  “Our last name is Picard.”

She stood quickly, staring down at the stunned mental health professional.  “My son and I will be going home now.  He’ll be back tomorrow, and I’ll do my best to get him ready for the day.  Please tell his teacher that criticisms, corrections, or comments about his family are unnecessary. He’s here to learn, not to be told who his family is.” 

######

 Beverly called off work the next morning before excusing Wesley from school.  She didn’t bother waking him up, but let him sleep until he stumbled out of his room and curled into her lap.

“How are you feeling?”

“Sleepy.”  He yawned and wiped his face on her shoulder.  “I don’t want to go to school.”

“You’re not today.  We’re going to stay home.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  Why don’t we go watch a vid in my room?”

“Can we stay in pajamas all day?”  Beverly frowned.  “I guess, if that’s what you want to do.”    

Part of Beverly was concerned with how lethargic they both felt, and another part found she really didn’t care.  They had been through hell and needed time to heal. 

#####

Wesley resigned himself to walking into his classroom the next day.  He kept to himself for most of the day, only speaking to his friend Heath.  His teacher tried to get him to participate in reading, which had been his favorite subject before.  He glared at her in response. 

For three days, that was his pattern of behavior.  He’d speak quietly to his friend Heath, and Heath would answer questions for him after a short whispered conversation.  Mrs. T’Zal sent Wesley to the corner for refusing to speak, and she sighed as she realized that he really didn’t care.  She placed a call to Beverly over lunch.  The equally quiet-sounding mother informed her that she’d talk to Wesley that night.  Mrs. T’Zal felt concern instead of frustration for her student, and she realized it was perhaps the first time she’d felt compassion for the child.  She chastised herself for letting gossip get in the way of how she treated her students and tried to be more understanding to him the next day. 

Wesley didn’t take to her patronizing him any better than he had her trying to treat him as she usually did, and met her with active, open, and angry resistance.  When Beverly was called to the school to deal with Wesley’s meltdown, she sighed and submitted the paperwork she’d filled out on their off day for an additional leave before she left to pick him up.

“It’s highly unusual to take an additional leave after the death of a family friend, Beverly. You’ve already had far longer than you took off when your husband died.”  Her CMO, Dr. Dalen Quaice motioned for her to have a seat.  “Why don’t you fill me in on what’s going on?”

Beverly crossed her arms protectively over herself, reluctantly telling her boss about Wesley’s troubles in school, her difficulties in helping him cope, and their efforts at making it from day to day.

“How long do you need?”  His voice was soft with understanding when she finished. 

“Can I have the full six months allowed?”  She hung her head.  “I think we need it.”

“Consider it done.”  She rose, and he cleared his throat.  “My wife and I are always available for you, Beverly.”  With tears in her eyes, she nodded and left.  Dalen wondered if she’d reach out for help, but respected her privacy enough to let her have her space…for now.

######

Robert and Marie ended their most recent COMM with Beverly and Wesley and looked at one another in concern. 

“We’re starting harvest, Marie.”  Robert chewed his nail for a moment.  “Marius has gone to see his sister, and I can’t leave without someone I trust here.”  He put his hand on Marie’s arm. 

“I’ll go tomorrow morning.”  Marie gave him a watery smile.  “If needed, we’ll bring them back here for a while.”

“I don’t even know if anything is really wrong, but…”  Robert stared at the blank screen.

“Something was not right.”  He nodded in agreement.

######

“We’re fine, Marie.” 

“Beverly, you’re barely eating.  Robert and I are worried that the two of you are depressed.”

“We’re just trying to find our feet again.”  Beverly hung her head.  “The two of you left and we tried to go back to our lives.”

“Come with us.  You don’t have to stay long, but come for a few days.  Please.”

Beverly nodded and called for Wesley to pack a bag for the weekend.  Both women smiled sadly as he came down the stairs, dragging Jean-Luc’s old uniform behind him.

“It won’t fit in my bag, Mommy.”

“It’ll fit in mine, Baby.”

Beverly and Wesley spent two weeks wandering among the vines and seeing places where Jean-Luc had played as a child.  Robert took an afternoon off from the harvest and took Wesley to the place he Jean-Luc had played as boys. 

“You know, I’m eight years older than Jean-Luc.”  Robert sat next to Wesley on a half-rotten board.  “We’ll have to fix this, because I’m sure that my son, who will come when you’re eight, will love to play with you.”

“Will he be my cousin, like Frank is Xander’s cousin?” 

“Yes.”  Robert put his arm around the boy.  “Since your Daddy is my brother, and I am your uncle, my children will be your cousins.”

“I like that.”  Wesley leaned against the older man.  He looked out over the small stream that Robert had told him was a mighty castle’s moat and dreamed of adventures he could have with the baby.  “When will he be able to play?”

“Oh, not for a couple of years.”  Robert laughed.  “He’ll have to learn to walk and talk, and then to run and be outside without his mother or I.”

“Oh.”  Wesley smiled.  “Maybe I can help him learn faster.” 

#####

Robert and Wesley sat at the table while Marie and Beverly were in town.  Beverly had brought several games with the intention to play with her son, but they’d not yet taken the time to play one.

“What is this game?”  Robert looked at the cover as Wesley pulled pieces out of the base of the box. 

“Mousetrap!”  The boy grinned at his uncle.  “Can you help me set it up?”

“Sure.”  Robert looked at the directions and began snapping the various pieces into place.  He looked over when he realized Wesley had gone quiet.  “Are you alright?”

“The last time I played this with Daddy, I told him it was his turn to set it up next time.”  He wiped at the tears dripping down his face, and Robert pulled him around the corner and into his lap.

“It’s ok to cry, little one.”  The new uncle held his boy close and they talked about playing games and how much they had both enjoyed playing with Jean-Luc. 

####

Beverly and Wesley returned home with an open invitation to their family home.  They walked inside their small house and set their bags down.

“Mommy?”

“Yeah, Wes?”

“It feels weird being here without Daddy.  He was supposed to come home.”  Wesley pointed to the hall calendar on which the date had been circled in blue.

“It does.”  Beverly sat and pulled her little boy into her lap and snuggled him close.  “Want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know.”  Wesley shrugged.  “I want to play a game over the COMM with him.”  He felt like he had no tears left.  “Uncle Robert played a game with me, and I cried.”

“You did?  You didn’t tell me that.”

“He said it was ok to be sad.  We talked about the games Daddy and I used to play.  He said he could call and play games if I wanted to, but I don’t want to.”  His voice broke and he turned his head to his mom.  “He loves me, but he isn’t Daddy.”

Beverly wondered if going had been wise.  The house felt more cloistering and lonely than it had before.

#######

Beverly stumbled to the door after her doorbell rang four times and slid it open just to the chain. “What?”

A pair of eyes belonging to her long-time friend, Elise, peered through the crack. “Bev? Are you alright? We haven’t seen you or Wesley in weeks...”

“We’re fine, El.”

Elise raised her eyebrows at her friend and took it all in - matted hair, hollowed out cheeks, red rimmed eyes, tea stains on her nightgown, and a men’s bathrobe wrapped tightly around her at five in the evening.  “I heard about what happened at school a few weeks ago.”  Beverly went to shut the door in Elise’s face, but Elise was fast and stuck her foot in the small gap.

“Well, that’s just brilliant. Let’s gossip some more about the grieving widow, shall we? Let’s gossip about how she lost both her partners in less than two years and the only fathers that Wesley will ever know.”

Elise’s eyes went wide. “Bev… you said you and the Captain weren’t together.”

“We weren’t but… we may as well have been.”  Beverly shrugged.  “I told you he wanted to marry me.”  Beverly fingered the ring she never took off.

“Heath told me what happened in class. He said Wesley drew Captain Picard instead of Jack as his father?”

Beverly slowly nodded. “Ye-es....”

“I’m sorry, Bev.  I knew the Captain was here every month for a weekend and you would take your leave with him but I just thought....” Elise trailed off, remembering the conversation she had with Beverly just after the funeral where Beverly had, in fact, told her exactly how close they had been. “I’m sorry, Bev. I shouldn’t pry. But...we’re worried about you.”

“We?”

“Me....Danice....L’roh....”

“Oh.”

“And I’m worried about Wesley, too. Heath’s been trying to call him to ask him to come over and play. Where is Wes?”

“Uh...Bed, I think.” Beverly frowned. Had they even eaten dinner before Wesley went to bed?

“At five in the evening? Bev, love, let me in. Please?”

“I told you, we’re fine.”

“You’re not. Come on. When was the last time you bathed?  Or ate, for that matter. When did you and Wesley last leave the house? Go out in the sunshine? I know you pulled him out of school....”

“We visited Jean-Luc’s family in France last week.  And I’m homeschooling him.”

“Really?” Beverly looked at her slipper-clad feet.

“He can pass the second grade proficiency tests. Probably even third and fourth, too. You know how smart he is.”

“True, but don’t you think the boy needs his friends?”

“I...left it up to him. I told him he could call his friends, but he hasn’t wanted to do anything except stay with me.”

“And do you think that’s healthy?”

Beverly shrugged. “For now, it’s how Wes is coping.  He’s just lost his father again. I mean, biologically, Wes is Jack’s child. But emotionally? Jean-Luc was his father. Jean-Luc and I never told each other we loved the other, but we both just knew, alright?” Beverly wiped at her tears angrily.

Elise slowly nodded and reached a hand through the gap to rest it on Beverly’s shoulder. “And would Jean-Luc want you and Wesley to become invalids?” Beverly frowned again, then slowly shook her head.

“I guess not. Come in.” Beverly shut the door far enough to pull off the chain, allowing Elise in. Elise beamed.

“Great. I brought over some stuff to pamper you with. Why don’t I run the bath for you and then I’ll wash your hair for you?”

“I....Ok. What about Wes?”

“Brought him some bath toys and those bubbles that change color. But let’s get you sorted first, alright?” Beverly smiled for the first time in several weeks.

Elise got Beverly situated in the bathtub for a long soak. She poked her head into Wesley's room and frowned at the sight of the little boy curled into a tight ball around a red command uniform. Why was Jean-Luc's death so much harder for them? Elise decided to let him sleep and made her way to the kitchen.  Once there, she began washing the mound of dishes that had piled over who knew how many days. Elise washed counters, cleaned the stove, and finally tackled the refrigerator. Either they'd been replicating food for each meal and then recycling everything, or they'd simply not eaten. It was nearly two hours later before Beverly joined her and sat silently at the table.

"Feel better?"

"I guess." Beverly looked around her cleaned kitchen and colored. "I'm embarrassed."

"Don't be. You're grieving, and you've felt like you have to hide it." Elise sat next to her and took her hand. "Please, honey, tell me."

“Everyone thought Jack and I had the perfect marriage.”  Beverly’s voice wavered.  “I wish I’d never married him.”

"You don't mean that." Elise patted Beverly's hand.

"Yes, I do." Bev nodded adamantly.  "I could have raised Wesley by myself. Or with Jean-Luc." She drew in a deep breath.  "I should have ended it with Jack instead of feeling like I needed to marry him because I was pregnant."

Elise sat back, stunned. "This is a conversation to have over a glass of wine, isn't it?"

"Probably." Beverly nodded. "It may be the only way I'll have the courage to tell you everything."  She paused.  “Let me run downstairs.  I have a few bottles from Jean-Luc’s vineyard.”

"Jean-Luc owned a vineyard?"                                                                                 

"His family does." Beverly frowned. "I guess I own his share now, or Wesley does, at least. I'm proxy until Wesley's legally of age to own property."

"Wesley inherited property from Jean-Luc?"  Elise's eyes bulged.

"Jean-Luc always said Wes was his child by default. He made him his beneficiary, and I have control of all properties and accounts until Wes has turned eighteen."

“I’m beginning to understand why his death has hit you so hard.”

“Elise, you have no idea.”

######

Jean-Luc Picard woke to a proximity alarm going off, and a communications buzzer sounding.

“Jean-Luc Picard of the escape pod…” He broke off coughing, unable to speak any more.  His throat rasped, and he gasped, unable to draw a full breath.

“Do you need medical attention?”  The communications operator knew the answer was yes, but was hoping the person on the other end could state what their crisis was.  Instead, she heard a body slump to the floor.  “Attention Sick Bay, I’m arranging an emergency beam-out from a shuttle craft.  The occupant is in need of emergency services.”

“Do you know which species?”

“No, Ma’am.”  The channel closed and Jean-Luc was unaware of being beamed directly to an isolation unit on Starbase 149.  Around him, activity flurried as doctors and nurses worked to stabilize him.  Monitors stopped buzzing, and the doctor finally removed his mask. 

“He’s lucky he got here when he did.  Another day…”  He trailed off and looked to his head nurse, who nodded.  This one had been close indeed. “Find out who he is, please, and notify Starfleet.”

“Yes, Sir.”       

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to AnnaOnTheMoon for this chapter, who is quite literally a co-author for this chapter and not just an error catcher (although she did a lot of that, too...continuity... it's a problem when writing on multiple devices). 
> 
> This chapter is heavily filled with Jean-Luc, but also with Beverly and Wesley being drug back into life, even if they're kicking and screaming along the way.

Jean-Luc Picard lay in an isolation chamber with a regeneration shell over his chest.   The doctors had explained how without his artificial heart, he’d have died days before his shuttle reached the base. 

Jean-Luc could only nod slightly at the doctor. How was it that his callow act as a young Starfleet officer could lead to saving his life ,and giving him a chance to finally tell Beverly how he felt? The first thing he was going to do when he was able to was contact her. She must be worried sick.

Two weeks had passed, and Jean-Luc still hadn’t been able to sit up. The base doctors were contacting a specialist who dealt with artificial hearts. They had asked him who his primary doctor had been, and when he had told them Beverly, they had raised their eyebrows but they shuffled out of the room smiling.

No doubt, they had found Jean-Luc’s file listing Beverly as his next of kin and had already contacted her. He hoped the journey wouldn’t be too hard for her and he wondered if she would bring Wesley along. He desperately wanted to see the boy who was his son in all but name, but he didn’t want Wesley to see him like this. Another week went by, and there was no sign of Beverly. Instead, a woman he had gone to the Academy with was brought in. Jean-Luc had frowned when they told him, but perhaps it was worse than what Beverly could have dealt with...or what if Beverly had told them she wouldn’t come? He was desperate to ask them, but every time he tried to speak more than a few words, he was told to conserve his energy.

He needed surgery. When they came to speak with him about “end of life options” in the event of a problem, he faltered. Had he been saved only to perish on the surgery table? He hesitated slightly when he agreed to no additional artificial organs, and the doctors had sadly smiled at him when he asked for a voice recorder to record a message for his family. He spoke for twenty minutes into the recorder, telling Beverly how much he loved her, and expressing regret to Wesley that he wouldn’t be able to teach him how to pilot a shuttlecraft or be there to cheer his graduation from school and entry into the academy.  At the very end of the message, he told Beverly how to access the hidden compartment he installed in his top drawer at her house. He told her the ring was for her, and he hoped she would wear it in his memory. He ended his message with a tearful “I love you so much” before handing the device back to the doctor and nodding that he was ready to be wheeled in.

The first word he said when he came to was “Beverly”. The nurses all shook their head in worry as they had all tried reaching the woman named Beverly multiple times and she didn’t seem to exist. Her Starfleet record abruptly ended and they didn’t know if that was because she had resigned or had possibly died. They wondered, briefly, if she had died in the explosion that had caused him to jettison into his single person escape pod as her name hadn’t been among the list of survivors of the accident. The Captain had listed no other family members, and they were worried about his wellbeing if it turned out his wife – for they assumed she was – was dead.

The day Jean-Luc was able to sit up, he rejoiced. He could breathe without assistance and his heart had returned to normal. He would require physical therapy on his atrophied muscles before he would be able to return home, but he was sure it was on the horizon. Repeated requests to connect him to his family had been met with sad head shakes and “We’re sorry, Captain, we have been unable to reach them”.

Jean-Luc was sure they must have been doing something wrong and he went so far as to start spelling out her name for them.

“C-R-U-S-H-E-R. Doctor. Starfleet Medical, Pike Center.”

“We’ll try again, Sir.” Jean-Luc lost count of the number of times he had heard that phrase.

“Did you reach her?”

“No, a link can’t be established.”  He hadn’t believed them until he had been released from care and sat at a console.  He tried daily while he was going through his court martial over the loss of the Stargazer, each time hoping that it was only some kind of small glitch in the system or the system was offline, or maybe Beverly had taken her scheduled leave and took Wesley on the holiday he had booked for them. He didn’t know, but he was getting agitated.  Especially since he had to face his ex-girlfriend at his trial.  He had finally been released of all responsibility pertaining to the accident, but would have further meetings once he was back on Earth. The first thing he did, after trying to reach Beverly once more, was book passage back to Earth on the first available ship.

Jean-Luc sat in front of the COMM system in his temporary quarters on a passenger freighter bound for Earth.  He chewed his nail and tried creating a link to Beverly again.

“Picard to Commander Beverly Crusher, Starfleet.”  He frowned.  Jean-Luc had a flash of remembering Beverly once saying she didn’t like having Jack’s last name and decided to try under her maiden name instead.

“Picard, Jean-Luc to Doctor Beverly Howard, Starfleet.”

“There is no such person in Starfleet records.”  He frowned.  Beverly, where are you?

 “Picard to Doctor Beverly Howard-Crusher, Starfleet.”  His frown deepened and he was on the verge of tears.  He tried every variation of her name that he could imagine before sitting back in defeat.  Had his “death” proved too much and she’d resigned?  If she had, where did she go?  He considered contacting her grandmother on Caldos, but worried that he’d only upset the older woman if Beverly hadn’t been in contact. 

He snapped his fingers.  What was her best friend’s name?  Elise.  Another moment of thought, and he remembered that she wasn’t in Starfleet herself, but her husband was.  He grinned and put in another COMM request. 

“Picard, Jean-Luc to Elise VanHasen, Earth.”  Moments later, his screen glowed a favorable blue.

"Captain Picard?" Elise gasped at the image on her incoming call. "We thought you were..."

"Dead. I know. It's been a nightmare trying to be declared alive. But I'm calling you because,” his voice caught as he was finally overcome with his tears, “I can't find Beverly.  I tried sending her a message but it bounces back ‘officer unknown’. I tried under Howard, and tried using both Doctor and Lieutenant Commander.  I even tried Commander in case she was promoted while I was away." Elise’s eyes went wide.  Of course, Beverly was no longer Doctor or Lieutenant Commander Crusher, she was Doctor Picard now...but she wasn’t going to tell the Captain.  She would let him find out from Beverly herself.  "I was going to call Felisa, but thought I'd try you first since you’ve been her friend since she met Henry at the Academy. Did she quit Starfleet? Where is she?" His voice escalated with desperation and he closed his eyes, afraid Elise wouldn’t know where she was either.

A large grin spread across Elise’s face. "Where are you?"

"On a fleet transport ship. We'll be in earth orbit in a week."

"Come here. I'll take care of Bev. Just let me know about a half hour before you'll get here?"

“Is she….is Wes…Are they?”  Elise smiled at her friend’s partner.  “They’re both fine. I promise, you’ll see her soon.” She clicked off of the COMM with a smile on her face. _You’re in for a surprise, Captain Picard._

#####

"Beverly, hon, you'll feel better." Elise stood in Beverly's door with two already-paid reservations at an elite spa. "Come on. Dannica said she'd keep Wesley and Heath for the day."

"I don't know." Beverly had gone out with Wesley the day before for pizza, and had found the experience a little overwhelming. They had come home and cuddled together, almost as if needing to cocoon against the noise and bustle they'd become so insulated against.

"Henry already paid for us, Honey. He wants us to go have a good time."

"I suppose." Beverly felt a little badgered, but the thought of being pampered was appealing. "Do you think Wesley will be alright?"

"I'm sure of it." Elise smiled confidently. "Dannica is going to take them to the zoo. She said there're some new environments for the children."

######

“I can’t believe you signed us up for Brazilian waxes.”  Beverly rolled her eyes at her friend.  “Do you really think I need something like this?”

“Trust me.”  Elise pushed her friend gently towards the waxing center where a beautician waited for her.  “You’ll be glad for it.”

“I never got a wax like this when I was married.”  Beverly balked again. 

“Not even for your wedding night?”

“No.”  Beverly blushed.  “I was pregnant and having morning sickness that never left.  Waxing was the last thing on my mind.”

“Well, it’s about time then, isn’t it?”

“It’s just too bad there’s no one to see it.” 

“You never know.”  Elise had an odd expression on her face, partly amused, yet mostly excited.

“You’re not trying to set me up on a date, are you?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”  Elise held up her hands innocently.  “Your heart belongs to Jean-Luc, and I suspect it always will.”

#######

“Mommy, you look pretty!”  Wesley waved at his mother where he lay playing a board game with Heath. 

“Thank you.”  Beverly did a little turn, and Wesley clapped.  She had to admit that yes, she did feel better. 

“I’m glad you went with me today.”  Elise kissed her friend’s cheek. 

“Thanks for inviting me. Please tell Henry I said thank you?”

“Sure.”  Elise nodded.  “Where are you going now?”

“I thought I’d take Wesley to get his hair cut.  It’s not fair that I look this put-together, and he’s over there with a mop on his head.”

An hour later Wesley sat looking at his reflection.  He’d wanted a haircut just like the one he’d seen in the picture of Daddy Jean before his hair started to go away.  He smiled proudly as the hairdresser finished combing it into the style.

“This is a pretty dated haircut.  Are you sure you want this?  It’s not too late to change it, Little Guy.”

“Nope!”  Wesley turned his head from side to side, looking.  “This is like my Daddy’s hair.”

Beverly smiled sadly, once again wishing Jean-Luc could be here to see him grow.

#######

After Elise received a call from the Captain that he would be able to beam to the transportation booth at the edge of their street in a half hour, she convinced Heath to go over and ask Wesley to play outside with him.  It would be easy enough then to get Beverly out of her house as she could suggest they talk out on the porch and watch the boys. 

“Elise, Wesley and Heath will be fine on their own.  Why don’t we stay inside where it’s warmer and have a glass of wine?”  Elise shook her head. 

“I think we should take a pot of tea out onto the porch.  It’s a beautiful day.  You know they announced they’ll arrange for some cold days soon.”  Beverly shrugged at her friend, who eyed her critically. “Hmm, perhaps you want to change first?” 

“Why?  It’s not like I’m expecting anyone.  We weren’t even expecting you and Heath to come over today.”  Beverly nodded to her heavy sweater.  “I can put that on and be ok.”

“Well, I thought we could take the boys out for pizza later.  Come on, it’ll take you five minutes to change.  Put on the blue top. It really makes your eyes pop.”  Elise followed Beverly into the house and dragged her up the stairs and soon Beverly was clad in a blue silk shell top, a cashmere cardigan, and a pair of black slacks. 

“Happy now, El?”  Elise shook her head and held out a hairbrush. “Sit.”

“Why do I feel like I’m about to go on a date?”  Beverly grumbled as she sat at her vanity. “I told you, El, I’m loyal to Jean-Luc’s memory.  I don’t want to go on a blind date.”

“You’re not.  Just...let me do this for you?”  Beverly sighed. “Fine.” 

Fifteen minutes later, Beverly had on a smattering of make-up and her hair was brushed back from her face.  Beverly had to admit, she looked nice.  A little overdressed for Planet Pizza but she looked nice. 

“Alright, let’s go outside.  See what our boys are up to.”

Beverly looked around for her friend.  She’d gone inside to gather the cups and tea Elise had requested, only to find Wesley playing by himself and Elise nowhere in sight. 

 _That woman has been so strange the last few days.  She better not be trying to hook me up._   A momentary flash of anger coursed through Beverly.  She wasn’t sure she’d manage to forgive Elise if that was the plan all along. 

Beverly wandered over to her garden and sighed.  It was such a mess.  There were dead plants everywhere.   It had been three months since she’d hung laundry, gardened, or done much of anything beyond help her son (and herself) survive another day.  Her garden was suffering in a way that hadn’t happened since she was too large with Wesley to bend or kneel and care for it.  She decided that since she had just gotten her nails done, a few more days wouldn’t hurt.  It’s not as if the neighbors hadn’t already seen it, anyway.

“Be careful, Wesley!”  She shouted at her son who was currently trying to balance on the fence.  She wasn’t thrilled with his recent penchant for gymnastics, yet she was thankful he’d finally found an interest in _something_.

“I won’t fall!”  He confidently stepped along the beam, reached the end, and turned around, heading back her way.  “See? I’m really good at this!”

She had to agree, even as she turned back to her garden.  He was pretty good at the simple things they’d begun teaching in school.  Perhaps she needed to get him involved in gymnastics classes once he went back to school, as well.  Anything he was interested in was something to consider at this point.  Perhaps getting him involved in gymnastics would lead to his successful reentry to school.

Her head snapped up at his scream, and she looked over in time to see him jumping, unharmed, from the fence.  He ran past her, unintelligible words being yelled from his lips as tears streamed down his face.  Her eyes followed his path.  She froze.

_Impossible._

Wesley had flung himself into the arms of a kneeling man with receding hair, who was holding him close and stroking his hair as the man cried his own tears.  Jean-Luc Picard stood as Wesley tried to climb his body in an effort to maintain his hold around his neck.

“I missed you!”  Wesley’s voice trembled.  He wrapped his limbs tightly around Jean-Luc Picard, sobbing into his shoulder.  “Don’t ever go away again!” 

“Shhh. I’m here, my boy, I’m here.”  Jean-Luc looked up at Beverly.  His eyes held an apology she’d accept without question.  “I missed you both so much.  I’m so sorry.”  He pressed a kiss to Wesley’s hair.  “I’m sorry.”

Beverly had been moving towards them at a fast jog, only to stop several feet away.  One hand covered her mouth, while another wrapped tightly around her waist.  She stood frozen, watching the reunion before her.

Jean-Luc held out his hand to Beverly and she slowly moved forward to take it.  Once their hands touched the cloud that had seemed to separate her from her emotions evaporated.  She fell into his embrace, her arms wrapping tightly around Jean Luc and her son. 

She let herself breathe in his unique scent before backing up and looking for him in the eye. 

“You’re home.”

“I am.”  His smile crinkled the corner of his eyes.  “I’m home.”  He leaned forward a bit, and she caught his unasked question. 

Out in the sun, standing in the middle of what would soon be a busy street with people returning from their various duty stations, Beverly met Jean-Luc in a fiery kiss. He leaned in and kissed her again, hoping she felt the same way.

 “I love you.”  His voice was quiet as they separated, Wesley still squashed tightly between them.  “I didn’t know how much until I was afraid I’d never see you again.”

“I love you, too.”  Beverly laced her fingers in his, suddenly needing to tell him everything all at once. “We had your funeral.”  Beverly felt her knees begin to shake.  “I put your flag next to Jack’s.”  Even as she said the words, she felt like they were inadequate and stupid.  He didn’t need to know that now.

“I’m sorry to put you through all of that.” 

“Wesley…”  She swallowed hard, hating to talk about her son as if he wasn’t there, yet her mind was overwhelmed.  “Wesley…”

“Shh.”  Jean-Luc pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “Let’s go inside, ok?”  She could only nod and lead the man her son still clung to into their home.

######

_Elise tugged Henry out of their house with a glowing smile. “He’ll be here soon.” She nodded to Heath, who wandered off to play on his swing set. He wasn’t too impressed with being told he’d have to wait for pizza. His daddy left for space and came back all the time. His limited life-experience didn’t include the concept of death or having someone return who he believed would never come back. Her husband stood behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist as they watched Wesley Picard run crying and screaming unintelligible words before launching himself at the man he called Daddy. Jean-Luc had knelt to catch him and peppered the boy with tearful kisses. They could hear calm, soothing words floating above Wesley’s hysteria. Elise then watched with tears in her eyes as her friend went through the emotions of disbelief, fear, hope, and acceptance._

_When the couple met in a passionate yet comfortably languid kiss, Elise smiled. It was so good to see the family together again. Henry pressed a kiss to the side of her head before nodding to the couple in the street._

“Should we offer to take Wesley tonight?”

“No.” She leaned back into him and relaxed for the first time in a week. “I don’t think Wesley would let go of his Daddy for anything tonight.”

“But what…”

“No, Love.” Elise raised his hand to her lips and kissed it gently. “We’re not bothering them. Not tonight or tomorrow.”

######

Beverly led the way to the couch, where he sat and carefully peeled Wesley’s feet from behind his back so that he didn’t harm the boy.  “Relax, son. I’m not putting you down.  I don’t want to hurt your feet.”  Wesley released his tensed legs a bit and allowed himself to be readjusted into a cradle hold, despite his arms still being tight around Jean-Luc’s neck.  Beverly sat next to them, wrapping one arm around Jean-Luc and holding onto Wesley’s arm with the other. 

“Tell me.”  Jean-Luc spoke quietly, even as he pressed another kiss to Beverly’s forehead. 

“You were dead.”  Beverly rested her head on his shoulder, hoping the slightly contorted position wasn’t painful for him.  “When Jack died…”

“When Jack died, I was here to help.”

“And Jack’s death didn’t matter as much.”  She turned so she was resting more fully on him, soaking in his presence. “You left more of a hole.”

He sat quietly as she poured out the story of the past four months, feeling guilty that he’d not contacted them, yet thankful that he’d not told them he was coming only to be held captive until after his court martial.  Wesley’s breath evened out as he whimpered himself to sleep.  Jean-Luc shifted him into a more comfortable sleeping position, but didn’t try to put him down.  Beverly eventually came to the end of her tale. 

“I’m so sorry I put you through that.”

“It doesn’t matter now.”  She lazily kissed him.  “You’re home.”

“About time, too.”  Jean-Luc let out a yawn.  “Sorry.”

“Tired of us already?”

“You have no idea how hard it is proving to Star Fleet that you’re alive.  When they finally released me, I worked on getting transportation back here.  Truthfully, I’ve not been sleeping well, either.”  He reached around Wesley and stroked her face tenderly.  “I was so worried when I couldn’t reach you.” Beverly looked down at the floor, knowing she would have to confess to their name change soon and she wasn’t sure how he would take it. He had kissed her and told her he loved her, but her doubts still lingered.

“Why don’t you go lie down on my bed and take a nap?”  She kissed his palm.  “We’ll talk about why you couldn’t find us when you’re rested.”

“What about the guest room?”

“There are boxes on the bed.”  Beverly blushed.  “I was…”

“Packing my things?”

“Slowly, yes.  It hurt too much to see them.”

“I’ll take Wesley with me.  I think he’ll be upset if I put him down.”

“He’s not slept this soundly in months.”  She ran her hand through her son’s hair.  “He’s been waking up at every sound.  Even taking a call would have him awake and unable to get back to sleep.”

“Hm.”  Jean-Luc looked at the boy who hadn’t woken despite being shifted, talked over, touched, and jiggled.  “That problem seems fixed.”

“It does.”  Beverly smiled gently.  “Why don’t you two go take a nap, and I’ll get dinner?”

“Let the replicator do that.”  Jean-Luc smiled sheepishly.  “I’d like to have you with me.”

The makeshift family climbed the stairs, Wesley still firmly held in Jean-Luc’s arms.  He whimpered when he was laid down in the middle of the bed and opened his eyes slightly.

“Daddy.”  He reached for Jean-Luc.  The man looked over to Beverly in concern, and she shrugged.

“I’m here.”  Jean Luc stroked Wesley’s temple with his thumb.  “I need to take off my shoes, ok?”

“M’k.”  With that reassurance, Wesley settled and once again was asleep. 

Jean-Luc kicked his shoes off to the side before lying down and wrapping an arm around Wesley.  He watched as Beverly went to the bathroom after muttering about needing to get clean from the dirt.  She returned to the bedroom and with her back turned, changed into a clean pair of pants and shirt.  Jean-Luc took in the lines of her body and fought back a groan.  He hoped her willingness to change in front of him meant that she was willing to explore a relationship, and not just their standard friendship, in which sharing a bed and cuddling could happen simply because they’d known one another so long.

She turned around, and he blushed slightly at being caught staring.  She smiled and lay down on the bed, turning on her side to face Jean Luc.  He rolled over to face her, and Wesley sighed at the movement, snuggling into Jean-Luc’s chest.  Beverly put her arm around her two fellows and smiled. 

“Welcome home.” 

“Why do I have a feeling you’ll be saying that several times over?”

“Because I probably will.  It feels good to say.”

“Hm.  Don’t let me stop you, then.”  Jean-Luc leaned forward and captured her lips once again.  When they needed air, he broke off and looked sheepishly down at the child between them.  “I’m glad he’s sleeping so soundly.”

"Me, too." Beverly stroked her son's cheek with her thumb. "He missed you so much."  
  
"Is that why he called me Daddy?"   
  
"Yes and no." Beverly looked away before meeting his gaze again. “Your death was harder on him than Jack’s.  He doesn’t really remember Jack. You however, he knows.  You’ve been more of a father to him than Jack ever was.” She pulled the chain bearing the ring Wesley had given to her out of her shirt and swallowed hard. Jean-Luc couldn’t take his eyes off the ring.  _His_ ring.  The one he had planned on giving her. "Wesley was amazing. You'd have been so proud of him. He..." She stopped speaking for a moment to get her voice back under control while ignoring the tears streaking her face.  "He gave me the chips you showed him and this ring."   
  
Jean-Luc felt his chest tighten. When he'd shown Wesley the data chips, he'd not even considered the responsibility he'd placed on his tiny shoulders.   
  
"He said you promised to be his Daddy." Jean-Luc could only nod and whisper an apology against the little boy’s hair. "Shh." She pressed her fingers gently to his lips. "Don't apologize. You should have been his daddy all along. You have been." Beverly leaned over and kissed him, delighting in his muffled groan. "I should have told you I loved you a long time ago”

“Oh, Beverly, I love you too.”  Beverly smiled.  “I know.  Now, get some sleep. We’ll continue this later.”  
  
“Yes, ma’am.”   

####

Beverly woke hours later.  The room was growing dark, and she lay still, simply watching the two men in her life sleeping.  Wesley had regained his nearly-frantic hold on Jean-Luc’s neck, and the man had responded by wrapping the arm that had been around her around her son.  Both breathed deeply and evenly, still lost in slumber. 

For all of his grumbling that he didn’t like children and didn’t know what to do with them, he’d always been good with Wesley.  From the first dirty diaper he’d changed to this afternoon, she couldn’t remember a time he’d ever shied away from her son.  Unlike Jack, who seemed to always find an excuse to not be around.  At some point, she’d need to explain to Jean-Luc why Wesley didn’t remember his father, but she’d dreaded that day, knowing the news would shatter the man’s perception of his friend.

Her bladder refused to be put off any longer, so she rose quietly and left the room.  She checked on them again before heading downstairs, and chuckled to discover that Jean-Luc had rolled onto his back, and Wesley was sprawled across Jean’s chest with his legs splayed where she’d been lying.  With a grin, she pulled the imager from her dresser and snapped a picture of them.  They really were so alike.

Once downstairs, she powered on the replicator and ordered a light meal of soup and sandwiches.  She put it all into the warmer to keep, and went upstairs to wake her boys. She smiled to herself, wondering how Jean-Luc would feel knowing she lumped him in with Wesley.  She could imagine his sputtering that he was a grown man, even as his lopsided grin covered his face.  She’d have to tease him later, just to see if her imagination would fit reality.

She laughed quietly at the sight of Wesley’s foot on her pillow, while the other hung off the edge of the bed.  She walked to Jean-Luc’s side and sat, patting his chest next to Wesley’s head. 

“Time to wake up a bit for dinner.”

“Hm?”  His eyes barely slid open.  “What?”

“It’s time for you two to get up.  You need to eat something.”

“Hm.”  He closed his eyes again, dropping back to sleep. 

“Jean-Luc.”  Beverly rubbed his chest as Wesley began to rouse.  “I need you to wake up for a bit.  You need to eat.”

“Mommy?”  Wesley yawned and rubbed his face on Jean-Luc’s stomach.  “I want splaghetti.”

“It’s spaghetti.”  She repeated the word, and he said it slowly after her. 

“Can I have spa-ghetti?”

“Can you help me wake Daddy up?”

“YES!”  Wesley giggled and threw himself down on Jean-Luc’s chest.  “Daddy!  Wake up!” 

The man groaned and opened his eyes, only the crinkles in the corners giving away his mood. 

“Do I really need to get up?”  He quirked an eyebrow at Beverly.  “Daddy? You’re sure?”

“That’s what you are to Wesley.”  She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.  “Talk later?” He nodded.

“Yes.  Mommy’s making me spa-ghetti.”

“What’s she making for me?”

“I dunno.”  Wesley shrugged and looked to his mother. 

“I have soup and sandwiches waiting downstairs.”

“Well, then, I suppose that’s it.”  Jean-Luc yawned and sat up.  He tugged Beverly close and gave her a gentle kiss.  “Good morning.”

“Evening.”  She smiled and wiped a bit of fuzz from his cheek.  “We’ll have dinner, spend a little time together, and then it’s bedtime for Wesley.”

“I’m not tired.”  The little boy shrugged from where he stood next to Jean-Luc, still plastered into his side. 

“Still, you’ll need to sleep tonight, or you’ll be tired tomorrow.”

“Oh.”  Wes grabbed the adult’s hands and tried to pull them to their feet.  “If we eat now, maybe we can play outside!” 

“I bet Daddy wants to rest.”

“ _Daddy_ just wants to spend time with his family.”  He put extra emphasis on his unexpected name and liked the way it sounded.  Jean-Luc smiled down at the boy.  “And if playing outside wears him out a bit…”

“Suddenly having a quick dinner and playing games outside seems like a brilliant idea.” 

Jean-Luc chuckled as he followed his two loves from the room. 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean-Luc is home and healing begins for the Picard family.

“Push me higher!” 

“If you go any higher, you may flip.”  Jean-Luc had been pushing Wesley on the tire swing for several minutes, following nearly an hour of watching the boy do “tricks” on his bike.  Most of his efforts had consisted of riding with only one hand around objects in the yard.  Still, for a seven year old who had refused to ride his bike since being told Jean-Luc had died, it was quite a feat. 

It was getting harder to see, and Beverly called reluctantly for them to come in. 

“But Mommy!”  Wesley whined as he got off his bike, refusing to set it down as she’d asked. 

“Listen to your mother.”  Jean-Luc spoke softly, but Wes sighed and dropped his toy. 

“Ok.”  Wes walked slowly past Picard, and the man swung him up into his arms. 

“How about if we watch a holovid?”

“Can we?”  Wesley bounced in Jean-Luc’s arms, and Beverly shook her head.

“Sure.”  She threw her arms out to the side, totally aware that she’d have to find some way to combat the charming grins that threatened to overrun her sanity.

Fifteen minutes later, Jean-Luc sat with Wesley on his lap once again as Beverly pressed into his side.  They watched an ancient Terran vid called Cars.  Wesley talked all the way through the first part, and began to grow quiet towards the middle, when the two cars took a romantic drive up to an abandoned hotel.  He was asleep and curled into his daddy’s chest by the time Lightening McQueen lost his race yet won respect. 

“He really should have a bath.”  Beverly snickered at the lines of dirt and sweat that had left stains on Jean-Luc’s t-shirt.

“I agree.”  Jean-Luc smiled.  “I can’t believe he rolled through your garden. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s mostly dead anyway.”  Beverly blushed.  “I’ve not done much with it this year.”

“Why not?”                                   

“Let’s just say that Wes isn’t the only one who had a harder time with your death than Jack’s.”

Jean-Luc drew in a deep breath, knowing that a serious conversation needed to happen, but he didn’t want to ruin tonight with it.  “If you want to run his bath, I’ll carry him in.”

“He’s going to whine.”

“It’s ok.  I can read to him until he falls back to sleep.” 

Beverly looked at him through hooded eyes for a moment, her lips pursed.  She finally nodded, and Jean-Luc could hear the water running just before she came back to the room and let him know she had gathered Wesley’s pajamas and his bath was almost done.

He stood and quietly roused Wesley as he walked.  As expected, Wesley whined and first didn’t want to get into the tub, and then he didn’t want to go to bed.  He clung to Jean-Luc and cried, more out of exhausted frustration than actual sadness.  Picard exchanged a look with Beverly, but sat on the child’s bed and began reading from the storybook that had long lived next to it.

“Once upon a time, in a land far, far away…” Beverly backed out of the room but stood in the hall, listening.  She had the passing thought of gratitude towards Jack for showing her what it meant to be neglected so that she could properly appreciate Jean-Luc.  Then she chastised herself for the spike of gratitude that Jack was gone.

“He’s asleep.”  Jean-Luc’s quiet words invaded her thoughts.  “Are you ok?”  He reached out and touched her cheek.  “You look… torn.”

“I’m not torn.”  She shrugged.  “A few heavy thoughts came in, that’s all.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”  Jean-Luc could think of a thousand things he’d rather do than talk, but he didn’t want to expect too much.

“No.”  She threw her arms around his neck, breathing in his scent as she nibbled lightly at his ear.  “Talking is the last thing I want to do.”

Jean-Luc met her lips in a searing kiss and ran his hands down her sides.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”  She ran her hands down the front of his shirt, stopping to run her fingers tantalizingly along the waistband of his pants. “I’ve wanted this for years.”  She blushed but met his hungry gaze.  “I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until you were gone.  Yes, I knew I loved you,” he kissed her gently, and she drew back to continue speaking, “but I didn’t realize that you’d stepped in and become everything Wesley and I needed.  You were loving me as much as I’d let you.”

“I wanted to tell you so many times.  I nearly asked you to marry me the last time I was home, but then you didn’t want to talk about the data chips, and I was afraid I’d push you too far.”  He peppered her face with kisses.  “You have no idea how much I regretted not asking you.”

“No more than I regret not telling you how I felt.”  She fell into his chest and chuckled. "Does this mean we're...?" She looked up and he kissed her.

"Yes. But please act surprised when I ask you properly later."

“More shocked than when Wesley got into your drawer and gave me your mother’s ring.  I’m so sorry I didn’t hear you out when you tried to tell me…”  He put his finger to her lips.

“Shh.  It doesn’t matter now.”  He ran his finger over the outline of the ring beneath her shirt before meeting her in an open-mouthed kiss.

He scooped her into his arms and walked quickly down the hall.  Once in her bedroom, he placed her back on her feet, and pressed her against the wall. 

“My gods, I love you.”  He passionately kissed her as he helped her remove first her shirt and then his. 

The rest of their clothing followed suit, and Beverly pulled Jean-Luc onto the bed.

He chuckled.  "Eager?"

"Yes." Jean-Luc took this as his cue and he licked and sucked his way down her body, settling between her legs. Before long, Beverly was muffling her first cries of ecstasy with her fist as her other hand pressed his head firmly to her center.  Jean-Luc kissed his way up her body and settled on her.  He wiped his mouth quickly before plunging his tongue into her mouth. Beverly wrapped her legs around his hips, pushing up against him. Her hands reached between them and she guided him into her. Both groaned at the first thrust. Before long, they settled into a steady rhythm, desperately seeking release. 

Beverly’s body clenched tight around his with her legs holding him tightly against her. She bit into his collarbone to silence her scream and he moaned. He thrust a few more times before his orgasm crashed over him.  He slumped down onto her, their breath rasping in and out together.  They lay joined, panting, as their bodies relaxed into slumber.  He withdrew and rolled to his side, drawing her against his chest.

“Love you.”  His eyes drifted closed.  Beverly squirmed, wanting to get cleaned up, but relaxed into his embrace, falling into her second restful sleep since being told of his death.

She woke a short time later to his arms tightening painfully around her as he mumbled into her hair.

“Jean-Luc.”  She pinched his arm hard and he jerked awake.  “You were dreaming.”

“Oh, god.  It was awful.”  He leaned against her, soaking in her presence.  She pushed her body against him, openly inviting his caresses.  She guided his hand down to her center, turning in his arms as she voiced her pleasure.  He shifted over her, needing to be with her in a more intimate way, desperate to erase the feeling of being adrift and alone.

They lay entwined for several minutes after, too tired and sated to move. His hips jolted involuntary a few times, resulting in mews of pleasure from Beverly.   
  
"I love you." Was whispered quietly into the darkness as she finally pulled away enough to separate their bodies. She rose to clean herself, and he followed.   
  
"Are you ok?" His hands rested lightly on her hips as she faced the sink. He ran his finger gently over a bite mark and winced.  “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”  She shook her head.  
  
"I’m wonderful." She leaned back into his embrace, bringing his hands around to the front of her body, watching him explore her in the mirror.  "Just cleaning up."   
  
"Hm." He pressed a lazy kiss to the side of her head. "Shower with me?"   
  
Jean-Luc grabbed towels for them while Beverly adjusted the temperature of the spray. He chuckled, and she turned a questioning look his way.   
  
"I don’t think I've taken a water-shower in the last five years."  
  
"Would you rather use the Sonic?"  
  
"Oh, I didn't say that." They explored one another lazily while speaking. "Turn around, and I'll wash your hair."  
  
Beverly rolled her head forward as Jean-Luc kissed her neck.  He sputtered lightly at the taste of her shampoo.   
  
"That's sexy." She laughed and he slapped her bottom gently.   
  
"I didn't mean to kiss your shampoo." He pretended to pout as she turned into the spray to rinse her hair. His fingers ran through her tresses, helping to rid them of the foam.   
  
Once her hair was rinsed, he pulled her against him and kissed her gently.   
  
"Love you."  He grinned sheepishly.  “I can’t seem to stop saying that.”   
  
"I love you, too." She ran her hand down his chest, snickering as he shivered. “You don’t have to stop saying it.  I like hearing it.”  She loosely grasped his flaccid phallus and pumped him gently.  
  
"That's not going to do anything for a while, woman." He growled and raised her thigh to wrap around his waist.   
  
"Then why do this?" She pushed herself against his center gently.   
  
"I like having you here." He leaned against her, pressing her into the cool tile. They relaxed against one another until the water began to cool. He quickly washed her sensitive areas before wiping himself and rinsing them both.   
  
They took turns tormenting one another with their towels as they dried, each nipping at sensitive areas while fingers explored other more intimate places.   
  
"Give me a minute before you come back to bed." Beverly ran her hands down Jean-Luc's bare chest. She stopped just shy of his groin, and he groaned.   
  
"Vixen."

"You wouldn't want me any other way." She turned and sashayed from the room, her hips swinging provocatively. He bit back a moan and had the sudden vision of himself dying from an overabundance of sex. He grinned.   
  
"You can come in now."   
  
Jean-Luc entered their bedroom with baited breath. He looked around before seeing his fiancée standing before the closet, dressed in blue lace-trimmed lingerie. His mouth went dry.   
  
"I bought this when I was out with Elise a couple of weeks ago.”  She blushed and bit her lip.  “I didn’t know why, but I hope you like it.”  
  
Jean-Luc pulled her to him with a growl.   
  
She pushed him away gently and looked down at her hands, almost as if she was afraid for a moment.   
  
"I have to tell you something." She sounded so uncertain that his heart ached and he wondered how a woman so passionate could suddenly be so unsure.  
  
"What, Sweetheart?" He took her hands and held them gently, resisting the urge to draw her close and hold her through her fears.  
  
"I need to tell you why you couldn't find me when you sent out messages."  
  
"Ok." He nodded, despite his increasing heart rate. _I will stay calm, I will stay calm_ was a mantra he repeated quickly in the span of a breath.   
  
"I heard all of the personal logs you made and sifted through everything. Your collection of Wesley's milestones, his artwork, my letters," she drew in a ragged breath and looked away again. "I asked Robert, and he said it was ok..." She swallowed hard and looked him in the eye.   
  
"I changed our last name to Picard, Jean-Luc. I wanted to..."  
  
The rest of her explanation was swallowed as he plundered her mouth once again. Her lingerie was lovingly discarded as he made his way down her body once again. He made love to her against the bedroom wall, both reveling in the pleasure found with the new angles of connection.  
  
_Just when I thought I couldn't love her any more._ He carried her shaking body to their bed where he held her close, whispering his love as she fell asleep.  


####

Beverly woke hours later to a slight chill.  She rose and washed herself before putting on her panties and nightshirt, knowing that Wesley would probably be in her room soon, as had been his habit in the last few months.

“Jean-Luc?”  She kissed him gently.  “I need you to at least put on your boxers.”

“What?”  He looked slightly confused as he shook himself awake.

“We have a seven year old who hasn’t been sleeping well.”

“Oh.”  Jean-Luc fumbled with his underwear before crawling back into bed.  “It’s chilly.”

“I turned the heat off because it was warmer during the day.”

“Makes sense.”  He looked at the distance between them on the bed and quirked an eyebrow.  “Don’t trust me to keep my hands to myself?”

“Sure I do.”  She smiled seductively and moved closer.  “Do you trust me?”

“Considering you woke me because you’re worried a certain little boy will be in here any moment, I believe I can.”  He nipped at her lips.  “How much do you think we can get away with before he’s up?”

“I don’t know.”  She grinned and hooked her leg over his hips.  “But I’d kind of like to find out.”

Before they could go any further in their flirtation, they heard Wesley’s door crash open.  Beverly barely had time to move into a less provocative position. 

“You’re still here!”  Wesley’s face lit up as he bounced onto the bed.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for school, Wes?” Jean-Luc eyed the small boy kneeling between them on the bed. Wesley shook his head.

“Nuh-uh. I don’t go to school anymore.”  Jean-Luc raised his eyebrows and rolled over to look at Beverly.

“No school?”

“Wesley had...problems....”  Jean-Luc indicated for her to continue. “Maybe we should...talk about this without Wesley in the room. Wes, honey, go get dressed.”

“Do I hafeto? Can’t we have a PJ day again?”  Jean-Luc raised his eyebrows again.

“Don’t ask. I’ll...ahh...we have a lot to talk about,” turning to Wesley, Beverly shook her head.  “No PJ day. Please get dressed.”

Once Wesley had left the room, Jean-Luc pulled Beverly into his arms. “Tell me everything.”  

“I told you last night. Wesley and I...we haven’t been living since we were told you had died. Not really, anyway. We just sort of marched through the calendar without really doing much of anything. I took a sabbatical from Starfleet...Wesley...he tried to go back to school after we had your funeral but it was too hard for him. So I took him out of school and told them I would homeschool him....but some days, I just didn’t want to get out of bed and Wesley and I would have a pajama day.”

 Jean-Luc leaned over and kissed her. “Have I told you how sorry I am that you were put through all of that?” Beverly softly smiled.

“You have. And it was all worth it to have you here with me now.”

“I’m not going back out into the stars for a long time, Beverly.  Maybe not ever.”  Jean-Luc felt it was important that she understand it now.  “I meant it when I said I wanted to be here.  Here, with you, in this house, or any other house you want to move to.”

“Did you lose your captaincy?”  Beverly’s eyes widened.

“No, but they’ll hesitate to give me a command after this.  I’ve been cleared, so I don’t have a bad record following me around, but I’ve had a rough couple of years.  Admiral Quinn was very clear in letting me know that while he has no reservations, Starfleet itself has concerns.”

“Is it wrong that I’m relieved?”

“No.”  He drew in a breath.  “I wanted you to know, so you know I’m actually going to be here.  If they offer me another command, I’ll demand my family goes with me.”

“Thank you.”  Beverly plundered his mouth again, breaking off with a chuckle when Wesley yelled for them from the stairs.  “I suppose we should get ready.”

“What do you want to do today?”

“I have no idea.”  Beverly looked slightly embarrassed to be at such a loss.

 “We can’t have that now.  I think we should have breakfast and then I need to go shopping.”  Wesley came back into their bedroom.

“Shopping?”  Wesley made a face.  “I hate going shopping.”

“Well, I suppose you can stay here with your mother.  I don’t know if she wants to go with me.”

“What will you buy?”

“Clothes.”  Jean-Luc grimaced.  “I need clothes.  Most of what I have here is really old, and everything else was on the ship.”

“Ew.”  Wes wrinkled his nose.  “Can I go with you?”

“You just said ew.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want you to go anywhere without me.”

“Oh, I see.”  Jean-Luc pretended to think for a moment.  “Beverly, do you think we can have a day out?  I do need Wesley to help me pick something very special out.”

“I think we can manage that.” 

“Good.”  Jean-Luc turned back to Wesley.  “Thank you for already being dressed.  Can you go read a book for a bit?  Mommy and I need to get showers and get dressed.”

“Then we’ll go?”

“We’ll have breakfast and then we’ll go.”

“Ok!”  Wesley was off, happily jumping down the hall as he headed for his room. 

“Exactly what do you need Wesley’s help with?”

“I think that if I ask his mother to marry me later today, I should have a ring.”

Beverly leaned over and kissed him soundly.  She pulled the ring she wore on a chain out and raised her eyebrow.  “We do have this one.”

“Yes, but I want a new one.”  He set his clothing down and grasped her hands.  “The ring you have represents what we’d have been.  I want one for who we are now.”  He kissed her hands.

“I promise to act surprised.”  Jean-Luc quirked an eyebrow in amusement.  “For Wesley’s sake.”

“With Wesley helping to pick your ring, you may not have to act.” 

####

“Where’s Mommy?”

“She went home.”  Jean-Luc jiggled the small hand he held.  “You and I need to have a quick talk, and then we’re going to go present shopping.”

“What do we need to talk about?”  Wesley looked up, hoping he’d not disobeyed without realizing it.

“Do you know how much I love you and your mom?”

“Enough that you came back after they said you were dead.”  Wesley grinned.

“Indeed.”  Jean-Luc tapped Wesley’s chin.  “When I said I’d be around forever, I meant it.  Wesley, I’d still like to marry your mother.  Would that be ok with you?”

“Yes!”  Wesley jumped up with excitement.  “Can I still call you Daddy? Are you going to ‘dopt me like K’Lorian’s daddy ‘dopted him?”

“Of course you can call me Daddy.”  Jean-Luc jiggled the little hand he held.  “We’ll have to ask your mother about adoption, don’t you think?”

“No.”  Wes sped ahead with his commentary.  “When you were dead, Mommy and I talked about it, and I said I called you my Daddy in my head, and she said it was ok.  Jack is Jack, and you’re Daddy.  Mommy said that to Auntie Elise.”

“She did, did she?”

“Yeah.  They thought I was asleep, but I was playing possum.” 

“When was this?”

“Before you came home.  They talk about you a lot.”  Wesley shrugged.  “Mommy put your flag next to Jack’s, and Auntie Elise asked why.  So Mommy told her that she loved you, too.”

“What else did she say?”

“I don’t know, because then I sneezed, so Mommy told me to go to my room and stop snooping.”  Jean-Luc threw back his head and laughed. 

####

“What about this one?”  Wesley pointed to another ring, this time one with a silver band that divided into two parts with the separate strands twisting around one another. They then met and circled around a circular diamond. 

“I like that one.”  Jean-Luc smiled.  The ring was representative of their relationship.  Sometimes together, sometimes apart, but finally coming together. “Should we get Mommy that one?”

“Yes!”  Wesley clapped.  “Can I help you give it to her?”

“Sure can.”  Jean-Luc smiled as he waived the clerk over.  “My son and I need to buy this ring, please.  A size 4 if you have it.”

“Right away.”  The clerk nodded and moved to her inventory.  She selected the proper box and brought it to Jean-Luc for approval.

“We’ll take it.” 

#####

“Ok, Wesley, this is very important.”  Jean-Luc knelt down to be eye-level with the young man. 

“Yes, Daddy?”

“I need your help.”  Wesley’s eyes got big. 

“What do you need help with?”

“Can you help me ask Mommy to marry me?”

Wesley nodded, his entire body shaking with the effort. 

“Good.”  Jean-Luc smiled.  “Let’s practice, ok?”

“Yeah!”  Wesley cheered, and an older couple near them smiled. 

“Get down on a knee like me, ok?”  Wesley copied his actions.  “Now, say, Mommy, Daddy loves us.  Will you marry him?”

“I don’t like that.”

“No?”  Jean-Luc frowned a bit.  “What would you rather say?”

“Mommy, marry Daddy already, ok?”  There were snickers from across the walk, and Jean-Luc smiled patiently. 

“We have to ask her nicely.  It’s a big question.”  Wesley sighed dramatically.

“Fine.  How about ‘Mommy, will you marry me and Daddy?’”

Jean-Luc grinned.  “I think that will make her say yes.  What do you think?”

“She better!”  The couple broke out in guffaws, and the man gave Jean-Luc a thumbs up. 

“Good luck, and heaven help you when he’s a teenager!”  Jean-Luc could only smile.

########

“Mommy!”  Wesley burst into the kitchen.  “We got you something!”

“What did you get me?”

“Daddy’s got it!”

“It’s time to do like we practiced.”  Wesley nodded and both he and Jean-Luc fell to one knee.

“Mommy?”  Wesley looked at Beverly with as much sincerity as he could.  “Daddy loves us.  Will you marry him?”

Beverly nodded tearfully before whispering “yes”.  Jean-Luc took her left hand in his and slid the ring they’d chosen onto her finger. 

He nodded to Wesley, who put his hand over his parents, and waited a moment. 

“We’re a family.  I promise.”  Jean-Luc put his arm around Wesley.  “Even if we have other children, please never doubt my love for my little guy.  Not now, not ever.” 

“I want you to adopt him.”  Beverly smiled confidently.  “He’s your son.” 

“No, he’s ours.”  Jean-Luc stood and eagerly kissed his fiancée. 

“Eww!”  Wesley hid his eyes, pretending to be grossed out, even as he peeked between his fingers. 

“Silly goose!”  Jean-Luc picked the boy up and blew raspberries on his belly before pulling him into a tight hug.  “What shall we do to celebrate?”  He kissed Beverly again.  “It’s not every day I get to propose marriage to the woman I’ve loved for years.”

“Years?”

“From the moment I met you.”

“Why didn’t you…”  Her brow furrowed in confusion.

“Jack asked you out first.”

“I wish I’d known.”  She sighed deeply and ran her hand down his chest, leaving her palm against Wesley’s leg.

“But then we may not have this little one.”  Beverly felt a jolt run through her.  She’d missed so much.

“I want a quiet evening in with my family.”  Beverly’s voice shook.  “But then I want to go out and show off this beautiful ring.”

“How about we go out for dinner and then come home.  What do you say to another night of playing outside before cuddling on the couch with a vid, Wes?”

“Will you push me on my swing again?”

“Sure thing!”

“Can we get pizza?”

“Yep.  What would you like on it?”

“Sausage and olives!” 

“Hey, that’s what I like!”

“That’s why I like it, Daddy.”  Wesley held Jean-Luc’s face in his hands.  “I missed you less when I ate it.”

“I hope you never have to miss me again.” 

######

Beverly chuckled as she looked over at her sleeping boys.  She’d told Jean-Luc to wear Wesley out, but hadn’t intended on him wearing himself out in the process.  The two were cuddled into the corner of the couch with Wes folded into Jean-Luc’s side as they watched Wesley’s favorite old vid. 

“Honey?”  She touched Jean-Luc’s shoulder lightly.  He startled a bit, but his eyes groggily opened.  “It’s time to put him to bed.”

“Did you run his bath?”

“He can go to bed dirty.  I need to change his sheets tomorrow anyway.”

“Ok.”  Jean-Luc stood and carried Wesley carefully to his bedroom, picking his way across the floor amid toys that had mysteriously “exploded” from the toy box earlier when Wesley was asked to pick up his room.  Neither parent had had the heart to make him pick them up, as it had been truly funny. 

“Goodnight, baby boy.”  Jean-Luc pressed a kiss to his forehead.  “Sleep sweet.”  He backed away to make room for Beverly, who removed Wesley’s shoes and pulled the blankets over him. 

“Night, baby.”  She kissed his cheek before backing away and turning off his light.  “Love you.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean-Luc confronts Walker after Beverly tells him he's not been speaking to her. The family then goes to LaBarre after an unexpectedly pleasant call with Robert and Marie.

"I need to call Wally." Jean-Luc yawned and scratched his stomach.    
  
"I gave up trying to call him." Beverly frowned. "He stopped taking my calls."  
  
"I wonder why?" Jean-Luc went to their console.   
  
"I think he was unnerved at your funeral." Beverly blushed. "Wesley and I both had a harder time with your death than with Jack's and Gilaad kind of implied I was your wife."  Jean-Luc nodded, keeping the thought of how odd it was to talk about his funeral to himself.  “I tried calling him several times, and finally told him I’d not call him again unless he called me.  On my last message, I made sure he knew we were changing our name.”  
  
"I guess there's only one way to find out what his problem is." Picard ordered up a link with his old friend and drew in a deep breath when the man answered almost immediately.  Anger welled in his chest at the idea that he’d take a call from a dead man before he’d take one from his widow. He swallowed his anger, deciding that it was not the time to call the man to task for leaving Beverly in a lurch.

"Picard! You old dog!" Walker Keel jubilantly greeted his friend. "I was hoping you'd turn up!"   
  
"I'm here." Jean-Luc found it hard to keep his ire controlled.   
  
"Hey, have you talked to Bev?" The man suddenly grew serious. "I missed her birthday, and then I screwed up, Johnny.  I didn't know what to say to her anymore.”  He shrugged uselessly.  “You know how much trouble I had talking to her after Jack died.”

“When’s the last time you spoke to her?”  Walker looked at his friend curiously at the obvious anger in the man’s voice. 

“Your funeral.”  At least he answered honestly. “She called me a few times after that.”  He shifted uneasily as his old friend glared at him without speaking.  “Tell her I said thank you for giving Wesley a card with my name signed on it.  I just…”  Walker winced at the anger he could clearly see on his friends face, knowing that if he was in the same room with Picard, he’d likely no longer be standing. Jean-Luc felt another spear of anger pierce him.  Wally had ignored her for _months_? “I'm sorry." Walker looked away.  "I can't find her. I'm worried about her. Do you have any idea? Did she leave any way for you to find her?"   
  
"I appreciate your apology, but it's a little late." Beverly stepped behind Jean-Luc and looked at her friend on the screen. "I gave Wesley the card for his sake, not for yours.”  She cleared her throat and wiped angry tears from her cheeks. “I'm going to leave you two to talk, and when I can be civil, which I'm suddenly not feeling, I'll call."  
  
"I wish you would have called again, Bev.”  Walker’s voice was quiet.  “I tried calling you after your last message and couldn’t reach you…”   
  
"Why?  Why should I have tried to call you again? So I could be brushed off once more?  The last time we did talk, you made up some pretty bad excuses to leave right after Jean-Luc’s funeral, and you never took another call from me." Her voice was filled with venom and her eyes flashed with anger.  “How many more times was I supposed to call you without any answer, Wally?”  She held up her hand when he began to defend himself.  "I'm going to go outside with Wesley.  I don’t want to hear any garbage from you right now." She turned to leave and was stopped by a gentle hand on her wrist.  
  
Jean-Luc stood and enveloped his love in a tight embrace.  “Will you be alright?”  She nodded while never looking up, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “Go on out with Wesley.  I’ll be there soon.” She nodded and left before he angrily hit the wall next to him. He wasn’t usually a violent man, having learned to control his temper long ago, but this?  This was unexcusable.  Picard turned back to the screen. "HOW COULD YOU?"  He thundered at the man who hurt his family so badly.     
  
“I have no excuses.”  Walker raised his hands as if in defeat.  He stopped trying to make any further excuses. "I messed up, Johnny.  I didn’t think…"

“No, you didn’t think.”  Picard’s anger was palpable over subspace. "You left Beverly and Wesley hanging.  They had no support!  Wesley has called you “uncle” since he could talk, and I really believed that you’d be here for them if something happened to me." Picard’s eyes narrowed and he scowled at the man.  “In a way, I’m glad to know that I need to make other arrangements for them if something does happen to me, and it’s not false reporting.”

“Oh, this is rich.”  Walker Keel sat back and openly mocked his friend.  “This outrage coming from a man who couldn’t even tell his best friend that he married his other best friend’s widow.”  He shook his head.  “How the hell do you think it felt to find out _at your funeral_ that you didn’t even tell me you got married?  And you’re mad at ME for not stepping up and being the third in line?” He glared back at his friend.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You know good and well that I’m talking about your marriage to Beverly.  How long did you wait after Jack died?  Did you sleep with her as soon as his funeral was over, or did you wait a week out of respect?  Did you even wait for his body to go cold?” Walker’s words shocked even him. Had he gone one step too far? Had he just ended his life-long friendship with the other man?

“Think about your words, Walker Keel.”  Jean-Luc’s voice was deadly quiet.  “I’ll not easily forgive this insult.”

"I....I'm sorry, Johnny. She was at your funeral, acting like your grieving widow and..." Wally held out his hands, trying to express his discomfort and confusion with the situation.

"She _was_ my grieving widow, Walker." Jean-Luc's voice went icy.  
  
"What?"  Walker’s eyes narrowed. “So then, it’s true.  You know, I looked for a marriage certificate.  There isn’t one, unless you’ve You must have hidden it really well. Too afraid for it to be found out?” Jean-Luc’s eyes flashed with anger once again.  How could his old friend do this to him? To Beverly?  And Wesley….Wesley needed someone in his life. Thank God his own brother had apparently stepped up, because it appeared as though his brother-in-arms hadn’t bothered.  
   
"Beverly was...is...my life partner. She has been.  She was even before Jack died. You _know_ that, Walker." The other man nodded and swallowed hard.    
  
"But you never made it official. You never told me."  He made one last attempt at defending himself.  “I didn’t know you were in an actual relationship.”   
  
"Well, now you know." Picard's finger hovered over the _End Transmission_ button. "I certainly hope your friends treat your partner better if you ever pass." Jean-Luc searched his friend’s eyes, looking for some semblance of remorse or understanding. “You know Walker, we’ve been friends for a long time.  Shame it has to end over this.”  Jean-Luc angrily pressed the button before his old friend had a chance to reply, and took a few deep breaths before deciding to join his family.  The console beeped, alerting him to an incoming call from Walker and Jean-Luc carefully stabbed the ‘ignore’ button.  _There. Let him experience what he did to Beverly._  
  
Jean-Luc walked outside into the bright morning sunshine and watched them playing on the swing set. Wesley was standing, being pushed gently by his mother. Both were laughing, and he couldn't imagine the loneliness they'd been drowning in. He at least had not been surrounded by people during his seclusion.  Beverly looked up, and saw his bloodied fist. 

“What did you do?”

“Nothing,”  she shot him a look.  “Alright, I might have punched the wall.  I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”  He smiled at her and reached out to rest a hand on her shoulder.  “You’re right, I’m not.  But it can wait.  Let's go for a walk into town." Jean-Luc held out his hand, motioning toward the road. "Let's go somewhere. Anywhere."

"Ice cream!" Wesley leapt from the swing, scaring both of his parents as he landed and shook himself off. "I want strawberry!"  
  
Wesley took off for the road but waited just inside the fence. 

“Wait for Daddy and I, please.  We need to go inside for a minute.”

"Ok, Mommy." Wesley jogged along the fence and came back, pretending that he was a caged beast. He growled and snarled, just like he'd seen in the historical movie at school in which they learned of humanity's former cruelty to animals.    
  
Inside the house, Jean-Luc looked through the window and watched the child play.  
  
"I wonder what he's imagining himself to be?"   
  
"You'll have to ask him on the way." Beverly continued carefully washing his wound. She pushed and bent joints, pleased when he didn't express discomfort.   
  
"Thank you." He looked down as she began drying his limb.

“Are you alright?”  Beverly cupped Jean-Luc’s cheek and looked into his eyes before she softly spoke.  “I could hear you yelling.” Jean-Luc tilted his head and rubbed his cheek against her palm before kissing it lightly.

“I’m sorry.”  Jean-Luc sighed heavily.  “I thought Walker was a better friend than he is.”

“Do you think you can fix things with him?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”  Jean-Luc shook his head.  “The things he said…”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not now.”  Jean-Luc rested his hands on her hips.  “I want to spend time with you and Wesley and not worry about anyone else.”  
  
"Have you called Robert?" Beverly ran her thumb over Jean-Luc’s lips and he kissed it.   
  
"Not yet. I need a break first." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. She nipped at his lower lip, and he opened to her silent request.   
  
"Eww." Wesley yelled from the gate. "Stop kissing and come _on_ already!"  
  
The trio walked to the local ice cream parlor, and Jean-Luc bored Wesley with history about how ice cream was first invented and why the place to buy it was called a parlor. 

Beverly laughed as Jean-Luc swung their joined hands. “You know he doesn’t really care, don’t you?”

“Yes, but what else are fathers for if not annoying their children with pointless facts?”

Beverly grinned and distracted both of her boys with a game of “I spy”.  She waved happily to a few neighbors who were out, fully confident that the news that Jean-Luc was home had either already spread through the small neighborhood, or it would shortly.  

They sat at a table outside enjoying the breeze while eating their cones.  Wesley made a mess by not paying attention, and soon had strawberry cream all down his front and in a wide circle around his mouth.  Jean-Luc shook his head. 

“Should we have gotten you a bowl?”

“No.”  The boy innocently licked a trickle of strawberry goop from his arm.  “I like cones better.”

“You’re making a mess.”  Wesley seemed to realize just how messy he was for the first time and grinned shamelessly.  He went back to licking his fingers between swipes at his cone as Beverly went in to replicate some wipes. 

#####

Jean-Luc stood staring out of the large picture window in the front of their small house.  His expression grew darker, matching the spreading dusk.  He’d had his hands shoved in his pockets so the tiny hand that sought his had to wrap around his wrist instead. 

“Why are you sad, Daddy?”  Wesley leaned his head against Jean-Luc, and the man wrapped his arm around his little boy. 

“One of my friends hurt me.”  Jean-Luc sighed.  “I trusted him, and he broke that trust.”

“What’s trust?”  Wesley picked at his shirt with his free hand.

“Trust is believing in someone.”  Jean-Luc patted Wesley’s shoulder and smiled down at him.  “You trusted me to come home and be your Daddy, and I trusted you to be a good boy for your mom.”

“I wasn’t a good boy.”  Wesley whispered his reply.

“Why do you say that?”

“I was bad because I missed you.”

“I don’t think you were bad.”  Jean-Luc picked Wesley up and the little one rested his head on his shoulder.  “I think you were just sad.”  The two kept their positions, staring together out into the growing darkness. 

“I love you, Daddy.” 

“I love you too, son.” 

##### 

"Call your brother." Beverly leveled a near-glare at Jean-Luc from the sink where she stood washing their breakfast dishes.   
  
"I've had one hard phone call and barely slept for it." Picard grimaced. "Is it too much to ask to space the hurt out a bit?"  
  
"Talk to Robert.  I don’t think the conversation will be as bad as you think." Beverly put her hands on her hips as Wesley came in the room with his new gyroscope.   
  
"Can we talk to Uncle Robert and Aunt Marie?" His eyes gleamed with excitement. "I want to tell them that Daddy's home!" 

"Uncle Robert and Aunt Marie?" Jean-Luc looked at his family. "You've spent a lot of time with them?"  
  
"Uh-huh!" Wesley nodded so hard his body shook. "Uncle Robert is fixing your treehouse so me and his baby can play there, just like you used to." He took in a gasping breath, as he'd said all of that on in one long spurt. "But I gotta wait for Aunt Marie to have the baby, and then I gotta help him learn to walk and to play. Uncle Robert said that you're my Daddy, and he's your brother, so his baby will be my cousin." Another gasping breath interrupted Wesley's monologue. "He said he wasn't always nice to you, and he should have been. He told me he felt bad because he was mean sometimes, and said that he hoped he could always be here for me to make it up to you. I don't know what that means, but he hugged me after, so I'm guessing he meant something nice." Wesley grinned. "Daddy? Can we go swimming naked sometime like you and Uncle Robert used to do? And I want you to teach me how to spit. He can spit seeds and said he'd teach me some day because you weren't here, but you're here now!"   
  
"You're not teaching my son to spit."   
  
"Your son?" Jean-Luc quirked an eyebrow. "I thought he was ours."  
  
Beverly shook her head, mockingly. "My womb." She tried to control her laughter, and was glad to see Jean-Luc wasn't taking her too seriously.   
  
Jean-Luc leaned down and stage-whispered, "We'll practice sometime when Mommy isn't around."  
  
Wesley got the game and giggled. "Ok, Daddy." He held a finger to his lips. "Shhhh."  
  
Beverly rolled her eyes. "What am I going to do with the two of you?"   
  
"Get used to laughing." Jean-Luc picked Wesley up and sat him on his lap. "Now, my boy, it seems as if you've fixed something that broke before I even met your mother. Want to help me call Uncle Robert?" 

"Yeah!" Wesley jumped up and spun around to face Jean-Luc. "Can we surprise him?"   
  
"What should we do?"   
  
"You hide, and I'll call him." Wesley put his hands up to his mouth, making a "secret" sharing space. "You can come around and yell surprise!"   
  
"I don't think I'll need to yell, but what if I hide and you tell him that something good happened and you want to tell him about it?"  
  
"Are you sure?" Wesley eyed his father skeptically.  
  
"Yes." Jean-Luc grinned. "I'm sure." 

"Ok." Wesley trotted over to the console. He turned around and put one hand on his hip and the other was flung out, palm up. "Daaaaady, he can still see you there! Go hide!"    
  
"I'm going! I'm going!" Jean-Luc held his hands up in mock surrender and headed for the other room.  "Are you coming, Love?"   
  
"No." His eyebrows raised at her refusal. "Wesley's never called them on his own, and unless you really want to set off their suspicions, I need to be here."  
  
"Fine." He play-sulked from the room. Beverly winked at Wesley and initiated the call.   
  
To Jean-Luc, it seemed as if an eternity passed before his sister-in-law answered. He listened carefully from the other room.  
  
"Beverly! Wesley! How are you, my dears?"   
  
"We're great!" Wesley bounced excitedly. "Is Uncle Robert there? Mommy and I have something to tell you."   
  
"I'm right here, my boy." Robert Picard came and sat with his wife. "You're looking well." His eyes twinkled. "Is your surprise that my favorite nephew is coming tomorrow?"   
  
"No." Wesley shook his head dramatically. "Well, maybe. It depends on what Mommy and Daddy say."   
  
"Daddy?" Robert and Marie both looked at Beverly. Confusion and hurt filled their features.   
  
"Yes, Daddy." Jean-Luc came around the corner and sat in the chair Beverly quickly vacated. He pulled Wesley into his lap and Beverly against his side as he smiled at his brother. "Hello, Robert. I finally made it home."   
  
"How...When..."  
  
"I got home two days ago. My escape pod was damaged and went far off course. I was finally picked up, and well, I'd love to tell you the story in person. Would you be willing to host us tomorrow?" 

"No. I don't want to wait "Robert's face crumbled. He met Jean-Luc's gaze and didn't try to hide his tears. "Can we come see you today? Now?"   
  
"Actually, it will be easier for us to travel." Beverly glanced at Marie in the monitor, who nodded her thanks to the younger woman. "Let me pack for a few days, and we'll be there." Robert could only nod at the woman he’d come to see as his sister-in-law over the past few months.    
  
"I..." Robert's speech halted.   
  
"Thank you for taking such good care of my son." Jean-Luc hugged Wesley to him as he spoke. "The past is the past, wouldn't you say?"   
  
Robert could only nod. Wesley jumped up, babbling about getting a game to take along and ran over to the game cabinet.  They ended their call minutes later, after Beverly spent a few minutes talking to Marie about anything she may need. Jean-Luc remained seated, listening to them chat after he pulled Beverly down into his lap and being grateful that so much good had come from tragedy. The ladies ended their conversation and Beverly called to Wesley to pick out three shirts and bring them to her room. He waved her off, digging through the cabinet in search of something specific.  
  
"I certainly don't mind going to the vineyard, but why do you feel it's easier for us to travel?"   
  
"Marie's pregnant." She shrugged. "After the fifth month, transporting becomes uncomfortable, and by the seventh, it's dangerous for the baby." Beverly smiled at her love and turned in his lap to kiss him soundly. "You, my dear, will be an uncle in 12 short weeks. Marie's too far along to comfortably transport over."   
  
"I still can't believe my brother..." Jean-Luc smiled and nodded toward Wesley. "How did he worm his way into Robert's heart?  I didn't think we'd ever be on speaking terms again." He gave a self-depreciating smirk. "Not only that, I'm visiting with my family who knows him better than I do after all these years."   
  
"Then you'll just have to get to know him again."  She gave him a brief kiss and slid off his lap to head up the stairs to pack their bags.  She called back over her shoulder, "Your relationship changed, but so did your relationship with Wesley."   
  
Jean-Luc followed Beverly up the stairs and wrapped his arms around her while she tried pulling clothes out of drawers. He stood holding her as she tried putting the things she’d gathered into their case.  He nibbled at her neck until she relaxed against him.

“We’re never going to get packed at this rate.”  She chuckled as he lavished attention on a spot, obviously intending to leave a mark.  “Stop that.  We’re not teenagers.”

“Hm.”  He bit her neck gently.  “Never did that as a teen.  No worries.”  He went back to the previous spot and Beverly rolled her eyes before turning in his arms to kiss his lips. 

“You’re terrible.”

“Mommy?”  Wesley stood in the door, his backpack already zipped up with his favorite clothes inside.   

"Yes, Sweetie?"   
  
"Are we gonna make it to Uncle Robert and Aunt Marie's house, or are you just going to kiss all night?"    
  
Jean-Luc winked at Beverly before releasing her.   
  
"We're not going to kiss all night." He stalked towards the little boy in the door, and Wesley tensed, getting ready to run. "I'm going to eat your belly!"   
  
Wesley shrieked with laughter as he raced down the hall and into his room. Beverly continued packing as she listened to the joyful shrieks of laughter and the occasional breathless shout of "No, Daddy!" followed quickly by the sounds of a childish counter-attack.   
  
Jean-Luc came jogging back into their bedroom with Wesley clinging to his back. They were both sweating and had red faces from laughter.   
  
"I won, Mommy!"   
  
"I didn't know you were having a contest." Beverly grinned at the pair.   
  
"Uh-huh." Wesley gulped in air as he tried to speak. "I tricked Daddy into stopping tickling me, and then I got him. Now he's my pony.  He has to give me a ride to the transporter."   
  
Jean-Luc grinned. He wasn't sure he followed his boy's logic, but he'd take it for the seven-year-old process that it was.  Beverly rolled her eyes playfully.   
  
"Go get cleaned up, you two. I can't believe I have to tell you to clean up when we need to leave the house soon. Jean-Luc, you know better." Wesley giggled as his father pretended to pout and apologize. He added his own unrepentant "sorry" before being put down to go wash up and change.   
  
Jean-Luc pulled a shirt from the dresser and headed for the bathroom. A hand snaked out and caught the back of his shirt. He stopped and backed up a bit. A tingle ran down his spine as Beverly bit his ear lobe while she pressed her body into his back.  
  
"I'll pay you back later for getting him so wound up." Her hand wandered down his body and he pushed his hips forward involuntarily.   
  
"You will, huh?"  
  
"Yes." Her whisper was breathless. "He'll sleep soundly and I'm sure Marie and Robert wouldn't mind watching him for a bit." Jean-Luc groaned and thanked the fates he could take a cold shower.   
  
Two hours later, the Picard's materialized on the transporter pad in LaBarre. Jean-Luc had their combined duffle bag over his neck and shoulder, with Wesley clinging to his back fairly sitting on the bag.  His little legs were wrapped tightly around his daddy's waist and his arms hung loosely after being asked to not hold on so tight. Beverly reached down and took his free hand.   
  
He smiled at her and led them away from the town and on to a familiar dirt road. They walked in the dusky glow of evening, all enjoying the heavy scent of the grapes. Beverly felt a peace wash over her as they neared their family home. She smiled to herself. When had she come to consider LaBarre her home?   
  
They walked through the front gate at the house and the door flew open. A very pregnant Marie stood smiling with tears in her eyes.   
  
"Welcome home, Jean-Luc." She gave him a hug and kissed his cheeks before turning to Beverly and greeting her. To her amusement, Wesley was asleep, still clinging like an exhausted limpet to Jean-Luc's back. His head rested on his father's shoulder, and one arm was held tightly by the hand not trapped in Beverly's. His feet were still crossed, but his legs were becoming limp.  Jean-Luc was glad the boy had insisted the bag could be his bench, as it had become an added layer of security.  
  
"I need to lay this little fellow down." Jean-Luc smiled at his sister-in-law. "Would the couch be alright?" 

"Yes." Marie reached out and gently patted Wesley's head. "He must be so happy to have you home." She looked from Beverly to Jean-Luc. "Almost as glad as you, I dare say."   
  
Beverly blushed and leaned on Jean-Luc's shoulder. There was no need to hide how she felt, yet having it acknowledged so openly by another was a new experience.   
  
"I can't begin to tell you how happy I am." Beverly reached out and took her sister-in-law's hand as they crossed the threshold of the house. "Thank you for supporting us when..." She choked up.   
  
"It was no problem." Marie gasped at the hand she held.  "This isn't your mother's ring!"  Her gaze sought out the ring she knew was on a chain and found it under Beverly's shirt.  She looked disappointed for moment. "I hope you haven't deprived us of sharing in your wedding."  
  
"No, it's a new ring." Jean-Luc was serious for a moment. "I thought that since the old ring is tied to pain and the past that I would get a new ring. She wants to keep Maman's, and I can understand why, but we're starting fresh." He kissed Beverly gently.   
  
"Marvelous." Marie's eyes twinkled. "When will you be married?"   
  
"We haven't set a date yet." Beverly smiled back at her soon-to-be sister-in-law.  "Where's Robert?"  
  
"I'm here, but what's this?" Robert approached them. "Keeping my nephew hanging about all night while you lot chat?" His smile took away any bite in his words.   
  
"Robert!" Jean-Luc clasped his brother's hand. "It is so good to see you again."   
  
"Likewise." Robert grinned at his brother who had his hands full both figuratively and literally. "I'll greet you better once he's down." He then leaned in and kissed Beverly's cheeks. "Are you keeping this troublemaker in line?"  
  
"Barely. We're later than intended because he got Wesley all wound up and sweaty. They both needed showers before we could come!" Robert threw back his head and laughed.   
  
"Come, let's get Wesley comfortable." Marie smiled at her brother-in-law.  She led them all into the parlor where Beverly peeled Wesley from Jean-Luc's back and laid him on the couch.   
  
"He'll probably sleep for a couple of hours." She smoothed back his hair. "He had a nap today, but he and his Daddy have been trying to make up for lost time."   
  
"I'm sure it's been a hardship." Robert slapped his brother on his back. "Have you played a board game with him yet?"   
  
"No, we've watched a movie, taken a few walks, been to the park, gone shopping, played on his swing set, and had two naps. There hasn't been time to sit and play."  
  
"Have you managed to have any time for just the two of you?" Marie looked between the couple. "Why don't you two take an evening while you're here." Robert nodded his agreement. "We can even watch him for a day or two."   
  
"I'm not sure I want to let him out of my sight, honestly." Jean-Luc blushed as he looked away, as if missing his family so intensely was something to be ashamed of.   
  
"Whenever you're ready, the offer is there." 

"Thank you, Robert."  Jean-Luc swung the bag off his back and set it at the end of the couch. "It's so good to be here." He looked around at the old familiar furniture that had been changed only a little by Marie over the years. "Thank you."   
  
"Thanking me for letting you come home?" Robert shook his head. "I was a fool, Jean-Luc. Can you forgive me?" 

"Already done." The brothers embraced as the ladies headed to the kitchen to get a light meal prepared.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marriage, adoption, reconciliation, it's a busy time for the Picard family!

The Picard family spent a week together. The brothers rebuilt their relationship as they worked side by side in the fields and finished fixing their old play area. Jean-Luc and Wesley slept in it the night it was finished, and the boy reveled in being shown the various constellations. They woke with the dawn and walked back to the house together. Jean-Luc smiled as his tired boy snuggled down into his blankets for a nap.   
  
"I'm still tired, Daddy."  
  
"It's really early." Jean-Luc kissed his forehead. "Go back to sleep. We'll get you for breakfast, ok?" Wesley was already sleeping.   
  
Beverly woke when Jean-Luc sat on the edge of the bed. She ran her hand down his arm.  
  
"How was it?"   
  
"We had fun." He rolled on to his back and pulled his fiancèe into his arms. "He's a good boy."   
  
"Thank you." Beverly shifted her position and ran her hands over his chest and down his stomach.  "Too tired?"   
  
"Never." Jean-Luc let his love lead him into ecstasy.   
  
#####  
  
"When is the wedding?" Marie looked expectantly between her brother-in-law and his fiancèe. She laughed to herself that it was hard to think of them as not yet wed.  
  
"Next week, and we'd like to have it here in LaBarre, if you're willing to have us for a few more days."  
  
"Indeed!" Marie smiled brightly. "Will you stay through, or are you still going to your home for a few days?"  
  
"We have several things we need to do." Beverly looked down for a moment, but no longer felt embarrassment over the past few months. "I'd like to begin our married life without some of the havoc."  
  
"Yes, we'll have it covered with havoc a couple of days before instead." Jean-Luc grinned as Beverly smacked his arm.   
  
Robert chuckled at the pair. "What about a honeymoon?" He glanced at his wife, who nodded. "We can keep your Wesley for a few days, if you'd like."   
  
"We'd appreciate that." Beverly smiled as she accepted. Jean-Luc leaned over and kissed her, deepening it until his brother cleared his throat.   
  
"I don't need to see the beginnings of my next nephew or niece."  
  
"Robert!" Marie looked at her husband, shocked that he'd be so crass, while Beverly turned red.   
  
"I don't know. We haven't discussed other children yet."   
  
"Jean-Luc!" The brothers sat grinning at each other.   
  
#####

Robert looked at his wife in near distress.  They had been watching Wesley all evening to give Jean-Luc and Beverly some time away.  Things had been fine until he’d asked the boy if he was excited to go home and get ready for his parents wedding.  Wesley’s face had crumbled and he’d begun a series of hysterics that was both laughable and worrisome.

“I don’t wanna go home!”  An overtired Wesley sobbed into his aunt’s hip as she tried to get him up the stairs.   

“You’ll be back in a few days, love.”  She fought back the urge to laugh at the boy, as his hysterics were truly amusing.  She turned back to her worried husband and mouthed a promise that the boy was just tired.

“I wanna stay and play with Uncle Robert.  He said he’s going to finish the treehouse.”

“He will finish it, and you can play in it when you get back.”

“But Aunt Marie…”  Jean-Luc and Beverly walked into the house to the sound of their son wailing out his aunt’s name.  Jean-Luc smirked and shook his head.

“Now I feel guilty for going to dinner without him.” 

“He’s just overtired.” 

“I should probably go rescue Marie.”  Beverly shook her head as she heard her son’s increasing dramatics.  “He’s at that stage of tired.  We shouldn’t have stayed out so late.”

Robert watched as the couple headed up the stairs to deal with the upset child.  He blew out a heavy breath and hoped that he’d be able to maintain his calm when his child had those moments.  He watched with relief as his wife descended the stairs.  Oddly enough, she was smiling, barely containing her laughter.

“What was that all about?”

“He’s so tired.”  She shook her head, resting her hand on her shifting abdomen.  “You probably never had to babysit and deal with sleepy children, did you?”

“No.”  His eyes grew wide.  “Do they always do that?”

“Only when they’re too tired.”  She grasped his hand.  “Come on, let’s have a cup of tea.  You look like you need it.”

Upstairs, Wesley was sobbing into Beverly’s breast as Jean-Luc looked on helplessly.  He’d never seen Wesley this upset before.  Was this some sort of separation anxiety that they’d need to work through?

“What’s wrong, Baby?” Beverly rocked and soothed Wesley as she asked her questions.  “What’s got you so sad?”

“I…I…I don’t wanna leeeeeeave!” 

Jean-Luc felt relief course through him as he sat on the bed and wrapped his arm around mother and son.  He began to sing a lullaby, patting the boy’s back in time to the tune. Beverly leaned against him, her head moving from his shoulder to giving occasional kisses to Wesley’s head.  He finally fell asleep, his sobs coming to a slow stop.  

“Sleep well, little one.”  Beverly turned off the light next to the bed and pulled the door mostly closed, leaving only a couple of inches.  “You’re sure you want another?”  She smirked and tugged on his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss.

#####

  
"Is there anyone besides Elise and Henry that you'd like to invite?"   
  
"Dalen Quaice and his wife. They always kept a door open for Wesley and I, even if I didn't knock on it." Beverly shifted position against her lover's side. "They sent Wesley birthday presents and called several times. They just didn't know me well enough outside of work to realize how bad things were." Beverly sighed. "And maybe Dannica and L'Roh. They helped Elise a lot this past week by babysitting and talking Elise in to checking on us in the first place." She paused. "Is there anyone you'd like to invite?"  
  
Jean-Luc sighed and gave voice to the thought neither of them wanted to acknowledge. "I'd hoped that Walker would be a part of our wedding, perhaps as my best man, but there's no way I'd want him near you or Wesley right now."  
  
"I don't even know what I did to anger him so badly." Beverly's voice trembled. "What did he say to you? It had to be bad for you to yell like you did."  
  
"Baseless accusations." Jean-Luc sighed. He relayed the conversation with their former friend, doing his best to soften emotional blows as he spoke.   
  
"I don't think I want him around Wesley after this, Jean-Luc." She wiped tears from her eyes. "I don't think I could trust him again."  
  
"I agree. I think, that since he's not asked for Uncle Wally, that we just let Walker Keel go his way." Jean-Luc felt a heaviness settle on him. "It feels odd to lose a chosen brother while reconciling with a birth brother."   
  
####

 “We’ll be back in a week.”  Jean-Luc knelt before his scowling son. 

“I don’t wanna.”  Wesley crossed his arms over his chest and stomped his foot.

 “I’m sorry that you don’t want to, but we’re going home.” 

 “I can stay with Aunt Marie and Uncle Robert!” 

 Jean-Luc shook his head. “No, you can’t. You’re coming home with us, and we’ll be back next week.”  Beverly covered her mouth with her hand and watched the battle of wills going on before her.  This was the first time Jean-Luc had ever encountered Wesley’s stubborn streak in such a fierce way, and she wondered how he’d handle it.

 “Can too and I don’t wanna go home!”  Wesley’s scowl intensified and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Scowl long enough and you’re face will be stuck like that.”

“Will not!”  

Jean-Luc raised an eyebrow at his son. “Do you really want to find out if it will or not? Come on, our transporter slot is in twenty minutes and it’s a fifteen minute walk into the village.”

“But Daaaaaaadddddddyyyyyyyy” Wesley drew it out as far as he could with one breath. Jean-Luc wanted to smile as it was the first time Wesley had whined at him, but he schooled his expression into one of seriousness. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Beverly was barely containing her laughter and he rolled his eyes in her direction, causing her to turn away before Wesley saw her laugh. “We’re going home and that’s final.” Jean-Luc’s voice was calm, but held an edge of authority to it, but Wesley wouldn’t back down.

“Don’t wanna. Want this to be home.” Jean-Luc softly smiled at his son.

“Hey, this can be home. But we need to go back to where we live. For one thing, Mommy and Daddy have jobs we have to get back to, and you have your friends there. Don’t you want to see Heath and tell him all about your trip?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Jean-Luc relaxed and held out his arms to his son.

“So let’s go back to our house. Please?” They stared at each other, each waiting for the other to cave in first. Wesley finally sighed heavily and leaned against Jean-Luc.

“Fine. I’ll go home.”

####  
  
Robert and Marie stood at the end of the garden gate and waved goodbye to their families retreating backs. Wesley was on his Daddy's shoulders, and his little arm still waved wildly, despite being almost too far away to see.   
  
"Ah, Marie. I never thought I'd see this day." Robert wrapped his arms around his wife, laying his hands gently on their son. He pressed a kiss to her hair while watching the now-empty road before them.   
  
"What day is that, my love?"   
  
"The day I would feel a sense of loss and lonliness when my brother left." He cleared his throat. "Our father saw to it that we hated each other. I was a fool and fell for it. He said he always had hope, and that's why he kept writing."  
  
"I know." Marie leaned her head back, pressing a kiss to her husband's jaw. "He thanked me for keeping up a correspondence with him all these years. He said it made him feel like he was a part of the family."  
  
"I'm sorry it took his death for me to get over myself and the lies Father told us." He chuckled humorlessly. "I'll always be grateful for the reported death of Jean-Luc Picard."   
  
###

Jean-Luc sat at the table looking at his son over a cooling pile of pancakes.   
  
"You have to go back to school."   
  
"Noooo!" Wesley wailed, tears streaming down his face. "You just got home and my teacher won't let you be my daddy, and..." His words were lost to unintelligible tears. Jean-Luc had the sudden understanding of "weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth".  
  
"What do you mean she won't let me be your daddy?" Jean-Luc decided to begin with the most ludicrous of the arguments first.   
  
"I drewed you with me and Mommy and she said you weren't my Daddy! My daddy wore yellow, not red, and my Daddy was dead." Wesley wiped at snot that began pouring from his nose and Jean-Luc grimaced. He picked up his napkin and cleaned Wesley's face before ordering the boy to "blow".   
  
"When did that happen?"   
  
Beverly had returned to the kitchen while Wesley was feebly blowing his nose through his tears.   
  
"That's what finally led to him not being able to handle school." She sighed. "His teacher told everyone to draw their families. Wesley drew you, me, and himself. His teacher reprimanded him for it, and he had another melt-down."  She looked away for a moment.  “I wasn’t handling his emotions very well, either.”  
  
"I see." Jean-Luc sat quietly for a moment.  "Wesley, I don't want to be apart from you, either, but school is important. I'll have to go back to work soon. My work hours will be the same hours you're in school." He waited for Wesley to nod hesitantly.  "How about we go get you signed back up for school and make sure they know your last name is Picard and that I’m your Daddy?  Does that sound like a plan?”  
  
"Yeah." Wesley sniffled and wiped his nose on his arm again. Beverly cleaned him up without a word. "Can I wear my blue shirt today?" He looked up at Jean-Luc with pleading eyes.  
  
"You bet." His Daddy chucked him under his chin. "Now. Can I see the picture you drew of us? You always do a great job."  
  
Wesley smiled and nodded, despite his still wiggling chin.   
  
"Go get it, kiddo!" Jean-Luc made a comical shooing motion with his hands, and Wesley ran off to his bedroom in search of the requested artwork.  
  
In the kitchen, Jean-Luc pulled Beverly to sit on his lap, holding her close as he let his tears fall.   
  
"How do we help him through this?"   
  
"We're doing it." She rested her cheek on the top of his head.  The couple held each other until their son returned with several pictures, all of them featuring the three of them.   
  
####  
  
The Picard's walked into the school and Security Officer Worf smiled.   
  
"Welcome back, young man." The tall Klingon bent down and offered his hand.   
  
"I'm sorry I was so bad." Wesley hid partially behind his mother's legs as he accepted the handshake.   
  
"I trust we will have fewer incidents?" Worf looked at Beverly, his eyebrow quirked.   
  
"Yes." She blushed and looked over to Jean-Luc. "His Daddy came home."  
  
"Welcome back from the dead." Worf's Klingon smirk was unnerving at best yet his intention was clear.   
  
"Thank you." Jean-Luc patted Wesley's head.  "We need to get him signed up for classes again."   
  
"Of course." Worf pointed to the third door down the hall. "The registrar's office is in there."  
  
"Thank you."   
  
Worf smiled once more at Wesley. "It's good to see you again, Mr. Crusher."   
  
Wesley pulled himself to his full height. "I'm a Picawd."   
  
"Welcome back, Mr. Picard." Worf winked as he walked away.   
  
######  


Beverly and Jean-Luc stood at the clerk’s counter.  Wesley was spending some time with L’Roh and her children.  They had come prepared with Jack Crusher’s death certificate and the appointment time for their marriage.  Jean-Luc had his paperwork verifying that he was alive, in case there were any snags in paperwork. 

To their relief, the papers they brought along were what they needed, and after a quick verification of everything, Jean-Luc signed papers officially adopting Wesley.  They would have a short visit with a judge before the adoption was finalized, as it was mandatory to be sure that Wesley did indeed wish to be adopted, but the Federation clerk grinned as she set the appointment.

“Thank you, Elise.”  Beverly smiled.  “I wasn’t sure if you were working today.”

“I’m glad I was.”  She beamed at the couple.  “Do you have someone to keep Wesley when you have a honeymoon?  Henry and I would be delighted.”

“Robert and Marie will be keeping him.”  Jean-Luc smiled.  “We’re keeping the wedding small, but we will be bringing an invitation to your house later.”

“Wonderful.”  She passed them their packets of paperwork and waved a farewell.  “I’ll see you later.”

#####

Four days later, Jean-Luc Picard stood under an arbor on his ancestral lands.  He smiled as Wesley walked towards him carrying a small pillow that had his and Beverly’s wedding rings tied to it.  Beverly chuckled as she waited for Wesley to get half-way up the short walk before following her little boy.  The youngest Picard waved and smiled to the few guests gathered.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”  The local clerk that Robert had secured for the ceremony began speaking, and Jean-Luc felt a short burst of wonder at how quickly life could change.  Ten short minutes later, he was kissing his bride.

Beverly smiled and wiped at the lipstick she’d left behind, and he nipped at her thumb.  “Later.” He grinned and took her hand, following her to the small reception area Elise, L’Roh, Dannica, and Patricia Quaice had set up under Marie’s careful direction.  

#####

“Be good for your aunt and uncle, Sweetheart.”  Beverly and Jean-Luc held their son in a snug hug between them. 

“Are you sure I can’t come?”  Jean-Luc chuckled at the question. 

“Wasn’t it you who begged to stay here last week?”

“But we could all stay then!”

“We’re not even leaving the planet, Wes.”  Jean-Luc smoothed his boy’s hair.  “I don’t want to go off-world just yet myself.”

“You promise?” 

“Promise.”  Jean-Luc met his son’s eyes.  “We’ll call every evening before bedtime.  Does that sound alright?”

“Jean-Luc.”  Beverly shook her head.  “Wesley, we’re not going to promise to call every day.  We may be busy and miss your bedtime.”  Wesley began to object.  “No, we’re not doing that.  But Aunt Marie and Uncle Robert have a way to get ahold of us any time you need us.”

“Do you have to go?”

“Yes, we talked about this.”  Beverly felt like an absolute heel.  She wondered how much of this was normal childish anxiety about being away from parents for the first time and how much was leftover trauma from the past few months. “We’ll see you in a few days.”

“Come along, Wesley.”  Robert stepped up when his wife nudged his arm.  He held out his hand and the newlyweds put their son down, letting him walk slowly towards his uncle.  “We’ll have a fine time.”  Robert smiled encouragingly at all three of them before turning to lead Wesley back to the house.

“I feel terrible, Beverly.”  Jean-Luc watched their son drag his feet up the walk.

“He’ll be fine.”  Beverly wiped a tear from her cheek.  “We’ll never know if this is trauma or a normal childhood reaction if we don’t leave.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure that if he has a problem, we’ll be hearing from Robert and Marie.”

#####

They had initially laughed over the vast array of bathing options when they entered, but Beverly had winked saucily at her husband and filled the shallowest of the baths. 

The octagonal pool was less than a foot deep, but was large enough for them to lay down comfortably in any direction.  Jean-Luc flipped on the heat lamp, toeing off his shoes as he watched his wife put the two waterproof pillows available for their use at the edge.

They slowly undressed one another before getting into the pool.  Shared laughter was smattered between kisses as they realized that one of the drawbacks of such shallow water, despite the lamps, were goosebumps.  As their bodies acclimated, they relaxed into one another. Jean-Luc drizzled water over Beverly’s body, watching as new goosebumps formed.

“Stop that.”  She lazily slapped at his hand. 

“I thought you wanted one of these at home?”

“It’s relaxing.”  She smirked as she shifted position to lay on her back.  Her head now lay on his thigh.  

“Relaxing?”  He leered down his wife’s body, deciding how to play along with her game.  “I suppose it can be that.”  He reached behind him and flipped the switch he’d seen to warm the surrounding tile.  Twenty minutes later, the tiles warmed the cooled water as it splashed and rippled around them.

#####

“Have you already removed your implant?”  Jean-Luc sat behind Beverly, cradling her against his chest as she read poetry aloud. 

“Can’t you wait until I’m done with this one?”

“Yes.”  He kissed the side of her head. “I could, but I don’t want to.”

She set down her book and laced their fingers together over her abdomen.  “I took it out the day after we talked about trying for a baby.”

“Do you think…”

“It’s only been out for two weeks, so no.”  Beverly sighed and leaned heavier on him, shifting down a bit so that her head rested comfortably on his shoulder.  “We may not…”  She swallowed hard.  “Do you remember the shots I had to take with Wesley?”

“Yes.”  He nodded.

“I’ll probably need to do rounds of those before and during.  The chemicals from the inhibitor are still clearing from my system, anyway.”

“So not a chance, huh?”

“Nope.”  She smiled gently.  “Not in this universe, anyway.”

“Well, if that isn’t the definition of mixed emotions, I don’t know what is.”

“Why mixed?”

“Because I remember how sick you were with Wesley.  I’d like to make it through the first few months of our marriage without being puked on, at least.”

He laughed as she elbowed him and hit him with her book.

#####

Jean-Luc and Beverly exchanged a glance as the console in their suite lit up with an incoming call.  Beverly rushed to it and answered, making sure her robe was tied as the screen flickered to life.

“Hello.”  She smiled at the harried woman on the screen. 

“I’m so sorry to call you, but Wesley needs you.”  Marie cringed as the sounds of Wesley screaming at his uncle.  “He’s been getting more and more upset the last two days…”

“I’m so sorry.”  Beverly reached out and touched the screen.  “What has he been doing?”

“He’s been getting more and more emotional, and this afternoon, he got in trouble for climbing the loft after he was told not to.  Being disciplined by Robert seems to have been more than he could handle.”

“Can you put him on?”  By this time, Jean-Luc had joined Beverly at the console and was listening, torn between reprimanding his son and soothing his fears.

Robert managed to get Wesley to the screen.  The boy sat in the chair his aunt vacated and began crying in earnest.  Marie put her hand out to rub his shoulder, and he flinched away, screaming at her.

“Wesley Robert Picard!”  Beverly’s voice rang out seconds before Jean-Luc’s.  The boy looked at his parents with wide eyes. “You know better.”  Beverly continued with a quieter voice and Jean-Luc silently.  He and Robert exchanged a look, and Robert shrugged from behind the boy.  He didn’t get it, either.

“Where are you?”  Wesley’s voice was shrill, despite him trying to settle himself a bit.

“We’re not far away at all.  Do you remember where we said we were going?”

“Paris.”

“That’s right.  Paris.  Paris is still in France.  Did you know that?”

“No.”  Wesley rocked slightly back and forth. “Why aren’t you here?”

“We’re on our honeymoon.  Remember?”

“It’s taking too long!”  He began crying again, and Beverly mouthed “We’re coming home” to Marie, who nodded in relief. 

Jean-Luc spoke quietly to his son for a few moments before they ended the transmission.

“Good thing you’re not up for traveling that far, either.”

“I can’t believe he’s that upset.”  Jean-Luc had grown pale.  “Is that what he was like when I was missing?”

“Sometimes.”  She nodded as she continued putting their few belongings into their bag.  “He’s not been this bad since his last day in school.”  She zipped their bag and looked over to her husband.  She slowly released the handle she held.

“Are you alright?”

“He’s…”  Jean-Luc pointed over to the monitor.  “He’s positively traumatized.”

“It’s one of the reasons I didn’t push him going to school.”  Beverly ran her hand down his arm.  “We’ll go home and he’ll settle down.”  She bit her lip.  “But I think this shows that he’s going to need more help than I realized.  I think we need to look for a counselor for him.”  Jean-Luc could only nod.

Two hours later, the Picards walked into their family home.  Robert sat at the table with Wesley on his lap.  The boy was sleeping, and he put his finger to his lips to quiet them.

“He’s finally calm.” 

“I’m so sorry, Robert.”  Beverly whispered as she ran a hand gently over her son’s sweaty head. 

“We should have called you sooner.” 

“How long has he been struggling?”

“He was rather jumpy yesterday, and I assumed it was just because he’d not slept well.”

Beverly nodded.  “He has a lot more trouble when he’s tired.”  She patted Robert’s shoulder.  “Thank you for taking such good care of him.”

“You’re welcome.”  Robert looked down at his nephew.  “I think I’ll carry this little one up to his bed, now that you’re here.”

“I’ll take him.”  Jean-Luc nodded to the kettle that had been put on.  “Something tells me you’ve got a wife in need of a cup of tea.”

“That I do.”  Robert smiled and stood, transferring Wesley to his brother.  “Will you be heading out once he’s seen that you’re alright?”

“No, I think we’re here.”  Beverly looked to Jean-Luc for agreement, and he gave it.  “I can’t see any good coming from us leaving again.  We’d just worry about him, anyway.”

Jean-Luc headed up the stairs with Beverly following.  She pulled back their son’s covers and removed his shoes before Jean-Luc laid him down.  They turned out his light and left the door cracked open.  They retreated to their room across the hall and settled in. 

Beverly and Jean-Luc were discussing waking Wesley for dinner when he padded quietly into their room.  He crawled up the bed and nestled down between them, snuggling into his mother’s side.  When Robert came to call them for dinner, he found the trio asleep, Jean-Luc holding both of them as they slept.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter in this story, but there will be a sequel. 
> 
> This story time-jumps a bit and takes us through the first weeks after their marriage, Wesley's adoption, and their first anniversary.

The weekend had passed quickly, and it was an early morning for the whole family. Jean-Luc and Beverly had an early appointment at the legal bureau. Beverly was heading back to work for half a day in the afternoon, Jean-Luc was going in to speak with Admiral Quinn, and Wesley was headed to take placement tests for school because he’d been out for so long.  Beverly and Jean-Luc exchanged a worried glance over Wesley’s head as the boy fairly shrank into his seat.   
  
"Will you take me to class, Daddy?" He bit his lip.   
  
"Sure." Jean-Luc ruffled his hair. "I’m coming to have lunch with you, too, remember?  Now, do you have your bag all ready?" Wesley nodded.  "Go grab it so we can be sure, ok?"   
  
"Ok." Beverly smiled as she watched the two interact.   
  
"Thank you."  
  
"For?" Jean-Luc looked suitably confused at her random comment.   
  
"You're so good with him."   
  
"I'd hope so." He pretended to be affronted. "He's my son."  
  
"He is, but I've also seen a bad father. You're an example of an excellent one."   
  
"I wish I was his father." Jean-Luc trapped her by her waist, pressing tightly against her back. "I’ll be so glad when his adoption is finalized.” He smirked.  “Tomorrow seems so far away.”  
  
Beverly chuckled. "He's already your son. Pay attention to his mannerisms."   
  
"I always thought he was a bit like Jack."  
  
"Oh, no." Beverly sighed softly as he nipped at her neck. "He's a miniature you at times."   
  
"Hm." Jean-Luc tightened his arms around her. "I'm sorry that he doesn't remember Jack.  I never meant to erase his father in any way."  
  
"I'm not sorry." Beverly moved her head to the side, letting him continue his slow exploration of her neck with his lips. "Believe me, he's not missing much."  
  
"Surely you don't mean that." Jean-Luc placed a gentle kiss below her ear.   
  
"I do." She sighed and laced her fingers through his, keeping him close to her when he would have moved away. "You know that box of little art projects from Wesley and all the pictures you kept over the years?"   
  
"Yes." He sighed. "I lost several months of his drawings and that little clock he made in art class. I don't have the heart to tell him. I keep hoping he doesn’t ask for any of it."  
  
"Jack had nothing like that. Not here, not on the ship, not in his locker at Starfleet." Her voice broke as she struggled between anger and sorrow. "His death didn't cause a blip in Wesley's life.  There were no missed calls, no standing appointments for dinner and a game, no plans for leave, or anything else."  
  
"Oh, Beverly."   
  
"When you went missing and they declared you dead, he reacted how anyone would have anticipated him acting for Jack. He shut down. Friday nights became somber and probably the most dreaded day of his week. He cried the whole month we were supposed to be with you on Oceana. Every slight disappointment was cause for a new meltdown, and I couldn't blame him." She turned in his arms and looked him in the eye. "You are his father. You've always been the one he wanted to talk to. Even before Jack died, it was you." She ran a hand down his chest, trailing her fingers over his artificial heart. "I never should have married him."  
  
Jean-Luc didn't have any words, but emotions and half-formed thoughts swirled in his mind. He watched as she unconsciously licked her lips, taking that as an invitation. He kissed her passionately, wishing he could erase the pain she'd endured. Her fingers twined into the folds of his shirt, drawing him closer to her as she let him win the battle for dominance.  
  
His hand had wandered to her breast and was lightly tweaking her nipple through her shirt when a quiet giggle interrupted them. He drew back slowly, breathing heavily. She pressed another kiss to his lips before pulling away and looking over at their child.   
  
"Here, Daddy." Wesley held his book bag out. "Can we check it now?"   
  
"Sure can." Jean-Luc emptied it and refilled it carefully, checking items against Wesley's school list. When it was finished, he helped Wesley put it on his back.   
  
"Ready?" Jean-Luc smiled confidently at Wesley.   
  
"Ready."   
  
"Teeth brushed?" Wes nodded. "Hair combed?" Another nod. "Shoes on the right feet?" Wesley giggled but nodded. "Did you kiss Mommy goodbye?"   
  
"Noooo." Wesley shook his head.  
  
"Better do that!" Jean-Luc winked and whirled Beverly around, dipping her low before kissing her soundly.   
  
"Daddy!" Wesley laughed as he covered his face with his hands. His parents were gross.  
  
#####  
  
"Welcome back, Wesley." Ms T'Zal  smiled brightly at her student.   
  
"Thank you." Wesley didn't smile, but he remained polite as he hung his jacket and pack.  His Daddy had escorted him as far as he could, but the school had rules for dropping children off for safety purposes, so he’d not be able to go see Wesley’s classroom until lunch.  
  
Wesley took his seat, leaning over to whisper excitedly with Heath until his teacher called their class to order.  
  
#####  
  
"Ok, class, it's time to clean up for lunch!" She felt a bit irritated when Wesley, recently renamed Picard, stood up instead of cleaning his mess.   
  
"Wesley, clean your desk, please."   
  
"But..."

“I realize this is your first day back, Mr. Picard, but disobedience will not be tolerated.”

“But Ms…”  
  
"Don't argue with your teacher."  
  
"Ok." Wesley's face fell as he sat and began cleaning up his mess.  
  
Ms T'Zal turned around to see a handsome stranger standing in the doorway. He wore a command uniform and was looking around at her classroom.   
  
"I typically enforce behavior myself, but thank you. May I help you, Captain...?"  
  
"I'm here to collect my son for lunch." His smile brightened as Wesley waved at him. "We had the agreement that he'd come to school provided I had lunch with him."   
  
"Your...son?" She felt her face tinge as she remembered being upset with the boy for drawing the wrong uniform.   
  
"Yes. There was a mix-up with his birth certificate that has been corrected." Jean-Luc dropped his smile as he looked back at her.  He eyed her coldly.  “I believe we’ll be seeking a new school for our son.  He’s not been happy here, and I think I understand why.”   
  
"I'm ready, Daddy!" Wesley stood from his cleared desk.   
  
"Good. Mommy is waiting for us at the commissary."   
  
"I wanted lunch with just you." Wesley pouted as he walked over to Picard. The older man picked him up.   
  
"Do _you_ want to tell your mother you don't want to have lunch with her?" Jean-Luc poked him in the belly.   
  
"No!" Wesley giggled and wrapped his arms around his Daddy, climbing onto the man's back. 

Ms. T’Zal watched as the pair left.  She had a sinking feeling that she’d not heard the last from the Picard family.  The stinging rebuke she’d received from her administrator over her treatment of the boy came back to her mind.  Perhaps Wesley would be better off in a different class.

####

“Mommy!”  Wesley waved from his Daddy’s back as he shouted across the crowded room. 

“Shh.”  Jean-Luc patted his son’s leg.  “Are you allowed to shout inside?”

“No.”  Wesley giggled.  “I forgot.”

“Try harder to remember, alright?  Not everyone appreciates your enthusiasm.”

“What’s en… entu...  Whatever you just said?”

“Enthusiasm is excitement, happiness, or some would say joviality.” 

“Jovy…”  Wesley tried the word again, and Picard chuckled. 

“Jo-vee-al-i-ty.”  He said the word slowly the boy repeated it.  “Well done.”

“I learned a new word!”

“Yes, you did.”  Jean-Luc helped Wesley from his shoulders as Beverly approached them.  “What did you learn in school today?”

“I dunno.”

“You don’t know?”

“No.”  Wesley shrugged.  “I was bored, so I drewed pictures.  But we had art, and I made…”

“Wesley Robert Picard, are you supposed to draw during class?”  Jean-Luc stared down at his son, torn between laughing and scolding.  He could well remember his first days back to school after long summer breaks. 

“Noooo.”  Wesley drew the word out comically and sat down in the chair next to him.  “I’m there to learn.  I know.”  He laid his head on his hands and Jean-Luc had to smother his smile behind his hand. 

“Where did you get so much personality?  I swear, you get sassier by the day.”

“Jack used to say Mommy was sassy, but he didn’t laugh.  I think I get it from her.”

Jean-Luc lost his battle with laughter and still chuckled as Beverly reached them.

“What’s so funny?”

“Our son’s interpretation of the world.”  He winked down at the little boy.  “I’ll tell you later.”

“You’d better.”

####

The rest of the day flew for the family as they returned to their day.  Wesley tried to pay better attention in class, Jean-Luc sat through meeting after meeting with admirals, and Beverly banged her head against paperwork as she tried to catch up with six months of updates she needed to learn for tricorders, treatment care plans, and new races added to the Federation. 

Dinner found Jean-Luc replicating a simple meal while Beverly whisked an exhausted and cranky Wesley through the tub.  Beverly sighed in relief at the sandwiches sitting on the table and quietly asked if Jean-Luc minded eating in the living room so Wes could watch a vid and maybe fall asleep sooner.  He shrugged and picked up all three plates while she herded their son to the couch. 

Wesley cried over his sandwich, even though it was his favorite.  Then he whined over the movie, despite having asked to watch it that very morning.  He finally began to yawn and fell asleep with the last few bites slipping out of his hand.  His parents just watched it fall.

“Was he this upset when you picked him up for lunch?”

“No.”  Jean-Luc shook his head.  “You spent time with him, too.  He was smiling.”

“What was his class like?”

“His teacher leaves a lot to be desired.”  Jean-Luc made a face.  “She seems to have taken a great dislike to our son.”

“What do you think we should do?”  Beverly rubbed her temples.  She really had been hoping he’d fit back into his class.

“I think habits have formed, mostly for her, and that Wesley would learn better under another teacher.”

“Is she nasty to him?”

“More like impatient.”  He paused.  “She’s very quick to reprimand any misbehavior.  I witnessed that as I was dropping him off for the afternoon.  She quieted a bit when she saw me, but she was scolding another student quite ferociously.”

“I think we should ask him what he thinks.”  Beverly spoke as she scooped the boy up and started towards his bedroom.  “He’s had so many disruptions that I think he needs to at least tell us what he thinks.”

“Even if we don’t do what he hopes?”

“Even then.”  Beverly pulled Wesley’s blankets up and pressed a kiss to his forehead.  “Night,” she whispered as she backed away.  Wesley sighed in his sleep and rolled over. 

#####

Beverly led her husband to their room where she began stripping. He wrapped his arms around her and began kissing her neck.

"I'm sorry." She shrugged out of his hold.  "I'm exhausted.  I just want a quick shower and then bed. Maybe we can cuddle while we fall asleep?"

"Honeymoon's over already, eh?"

"No." She ran her hand down his chest. "It's just better if we're actually awake." She yawned again and he nodded.

"I'll go start the water." He called from the other room moments later. "Showering together or separately?"

"Together is quicker." She stepped around him and stood under the spray.

"Guess that answers the question of leisurely or speedy."

Beverly began shampooing her hair, and Jean-Luc reached up, massaging her scalp for her.  “Feels good.”  Before long, her fingers tangled in his as she drew his arms lower.  His hands clasped around her waist as they stood together under the spray.  Beverly let go of his fingers as he lightly scratched her stomach.  “Stop it.”  She smirked as he reached up to tweak her nipples. 

“You don’t really mean that.”

“Hm.  Maybe I do.”  Beverly turned around and swirled a shampoo-covered hand over his swelling phallus.  She kissed him before sinking to her knees, making sure he was rinsed thoroughly.  He leaned against the shower wall, his hands tangling in her hair as he gasped out her name.   

He was still leaning against the wall, trying to remember his name as she rose to her feet.  Her arms wrapped around his neck as she kissed him.  He groaned at the taste of himself on her tongue.  “Honeymoon isn’t quite over yet.”

He chuckled against her lips before they quickly washed.  Once out of the shower, they dried themselves and headed for their bed, barely touching before lying down.  She lay on her back and he rested against her, one hand wandering her body as the other propped his head slightly. 

They traded light kisses until his fingers stroked against her entrance.  She shifted her hips as she deepened their kiss, sucking his tongue into her mouth as his fingers sank into her depths.  She grasped his neck, panting out her pleasure as his fingers and thumb tapped relentlessly against her swollen clit.  Her knees widened further as her body began to shake, and he bent, silencing her cry of pleasure with his lips.

“I love you.”  He pressed light kisses to her face as he slowed the pace of his fingers.  She mewed against him, rocking her hips against his hand, drawing out the last pleasurable sensations.  When his fingers withdrew fully, she rolled to lie against him, her leg drawing his hips against hers.  They kissed, their hands wandering one another’s bodies until they stopped, both lost in peaceful slumber.

####

The Picard’s sat in the Federation Family Court branch that was on the base.  Jean-Luc felt nervous as their names were called and he and Wesley approached the podium where the judge would sign off on Wesley’s adoption or deny the request.  He worried his recent court-martial would affect her decision.

“Wesley Picard?”  She smiled kindly down at the boy from her bench.  “How are you today?”

“I’m ok.”  He spoke quietly while he toyed with the little tie his Daddy had helped him tie that morning.

“Who is this person next to you?”

“This is my Daddy.”  Wesley grasped Jean-Luc’s hand.

“Is he your step-father?”

“What’s that?”

“He’s the man who married your mother, but he’s not your father.”

“But Daddy is my father.”  His chin wiggled.  “He loves me, and Mommy says love makes families.”

“Well, I have here a paper that says he’s not yet your father, but he wants to be.  Do you want him to be your Daddy forever?”

“Yes.” 

“Do you know he was in trouble for losing his ship?”  Wesley nodded.

“He was dead, but then he came home.”

“You’re glad he came home, aren’t you?”  She sat back and picked up her stylus, signing her name to the PADD that completed the requested adoption.

“Yes.”  Jean-Luc bent and picked his boy up, unsure of what the judge was thinking.

“Request for adoption approved.  Take your son home, Captain and Mrs. Picard.”  Jean-Luc held back a whoop of joy as they left the room.

“I was nervous there for a moment!”  Beverly wrapped her arm around her boys as they walked across the base.

“You’re not the only one.”  Jean-Luc grinned.  “Come on.  We’ve got a little boy to introduce to his cousin.” 

“Marie may not be up for company today.”  Beverly shook her head, remembering her first hours after delivering Wesley.

“She’s asked us to come.”  He smiled and played the message from his brother for his wife.  In the background, they could hear Marie ordering her husband to be sure to invite his brother and family to the vineyard.   That evening, Jean-Luc held his nephew as his son sat beside him, pestering him with questions about babies. 

#####

Two weeks passed in which Wesley settled into the other second grade class at his school.  He began coming home from school relaxed, pleasant, and eager to return the next day.  He and Henry missed sitting next to one another, and began asking to play together nearly every afternoon.  Their requests were rarely denied.

Jean-Luc endured a short court martial after multiple debriefings.  His former first officer requested a position on his next ship, and Jean-Luc agreed that should he ever get another command, he’d happily have Ben Zoma at his side once more.

Beverly consulted with Dr. Quaice and began a hormone regimen to help her become pregnant.  Her body had struggled with Wesley, and she was fully aware that a second pregnancy would be harder on her.  Dr. Quaice had already determined that she’d likely require bed rest from an early stage, and Jean-Luc had sat in on three appointments, each one followed by a need to be reassured that yes, she wanted a second child.

####

“Happy annualveraly!”  Wesley jumped on his parent’s bed, doing his best to remember the word his Uncle Robert had taught him days before.

“Morning.”  Jean-Luc smiled and tugged the giggling child down between them.  “But you know, that word is “anniversary”.”  Wesley repeated it before shrugging. 

“Couldn’t sleep?”  Beverly yawned as she patted her son’s chest.  He was well into his third grade year and had been sleeping, probably in preparation for a growth spurt.

“The sun’s up.”  Wesley pointed to the window.

“But it’s Saturday.”

“But Uncle Robert said…”

“Your uncle is a pest.”  Jean-Luc poked his son’s side.  “Yes, you can tell him I said that.”

Wesley laughed as he scooted to the end of the bed.  “Rene will be a year old soon.”  He looked pensive for a bit.  “Am I going to get a little brother or sister?  Aunt Marie said you were trying.  What does that mean?”

“When did you hear her say that?”  Beverly blushed.

“The last time I spent the night there.  Uncle Robert asked if there’d be any new Picard babies, and Aunt Marie said probably not for them, but maybe for you.”  He shrugged.  “I think I’d like a brother to play with.  Rene’s fun when he’s not crying or sleeping.”

Jean-Luc looked over to his wife and took note of the tears standing in her eyes. 

“Why don’t you go replicate a pastry for yourself?”  He nodded to his hyper child.  “Mom and I will be down soon.”

“Ok!”  Wesley took off, eager to get himself his newfound favorite, a cheese Danish with strawberries.

“Jean-…”  Beverly wiped tears from her cheeks as she leaned into his shoulder.  “I’m…”

“Please don’t say you’re sorry.”  Jean-Luc kissed the top of her head.  “I love you and Wesley.  I’d not change anything.”

“Except for another child.”  She curled into his side, and he wrapped his arms around her, pouring his love into his embrace. 

“We knew that there was a chance we couldn’t have another.”  He spoke slowly, hoping he’d not say something upsetting.  “I’m thankful we could try.”  He raised her chin and kissed her gently. 

“I know you wanted a baby.”

“Of course.”  He laced his fingers with hers.  “So did you.”  He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers one by one. 

“We talked about adopting or maybe foster care.  Do you remember that?”

“Yes.”  Jean-Luc sighed.  It hadn’t been a shining moment of unity in their marriage.  He’d brought up adoption months ago when she’d been despairing over not conceiving yet.  While he’d meant for the option to provide relief, she’d assumed he was giving up and had become angry.  They’d fought for days before he’d apologized for hurting her.  They had spent hours making love, after which Beverly admitted that she was worried they’d reach the mark of a year, after which she’d fall into the category of “secondary infertility”.  He’d hit a nerve with his suggestion.  He’d not brought it up again.

 “I think we should revisit that conversation.”

Jean-Luc tightened his hold on his wife, pain filling his features.  He was glad she couldn’t see his face.  She’d wanted another child so badly.  He silently cursed their human biology that sometimes couldn’t be fixed with modern medicine. 

“Whenever you’re ready, my love.  Whenever you’re ready.” 

 

 


End file.
